The Cline Life

Where did my baby girl go?

2011-11-08T20:31:00.000-05:00

Happy Halloween!

2011-11-01T19:55:00.000-04:00

17/18 weeks

2011-10-28T19:46:00.000-04:00

17 weeks October 21

18 weeks October 27

(please excuse the pajama pants. It turns into pajama time any time I'm at home!)

I'm feeling pretty good this week. I've definitely noticed that I'm hungry a lot more often and I want to eat ALL the time! It's such a nice change over being so nauseous constantly for the first 15/16 weeks. My stomach is poking out (a whole lot) enough now that people are noticing it. Twice now I've had strangers to ask if it was my first, or how far along I was. It's been strange because I because I haven't advertised this pregnancy a whole lot (especially to my customers at work) so when people that I haven't told notice, it catches me off guard. It's fun and makes me smile! I feel like I'm looking huge right now considering that I'm only 18 weeks! I've been feeling little baby girl moving around a lot! I feel her most when there is pressure on my stomach (she just kicked as I'm typing this...the lap top is pressing into her a bit!) and I love, love, love it!! I think I've gained about 7 or 8 pounds now. I'm trying to eat healthy but it doesn't always happen, especially after dinner when my ice cream/sweets craving kicks in! I've also been wanting super spicy stuff (hot salsa, hot wings, red pepper flakes added to lots of things) which makes for lots of heart burn. It apparently isn't bad enough for me to stop eating spicy things though. I can't think of other recurring cravings, other than maybe spaghetti...I've wanted that quite often, but not to the point of a real craving. I think I'm carrying exactly like I was with Addison...very high. I have an appointment for my anatomy scan next week on Nov 2, and I'm so excited about it!! It would have been when we find out boy or girl, but we got to find out early, so now it will be a fun show and tell! I have a few names that I like but I'll wait until we have decided to tell.

Addison's Autumn Adventures

2011-10-27T21:02:00.001-04:00

Addison was all dressed for Aunt Viv's Halloween Party! Cutest little lady bug! Her favorite part of the costume was the sparkly red shoes.

Addison and Grandee

Addison loves to hang out with her friend, Salem! They have lots of fun together!

Salem's Mommy, LeeAnn, got the girls some baby pumpkins and Addison LOVED it! She wanted to take it to bed with her that night!

Both girls are going to be big sisters! LeeAnn is due about 4 weeks after me and we are so thrilled to be pregnant together again. Can't wait to find out if Salem will have a brother or a sister...

Addison's model face. Showing off her toy tower and train.

We went to the Dixie Classic Fair for lunch one day and Addison had such a fun time! She got to ride on the pony. His name was Oscar but she kept (and still does) calling him Soccer. Silly Girl!

She also loved the Merry-a-go-a-round (as she calls it)!

15 and 16 weeks

2011-10-15T19:26:00.000-04:00

15 weeks October 7, 2011

At 15 weeks, I felt much better than before. I was still having a lot of nausea and even some vomiting, but it wasn't constant like it had been. I definitely had more energy. The most exciting thing was that at 15w 1d (10/8)I felt the baby move for the first time! It felt like someone thumped my stomach from the inside. From then I was able to feel the baby once every few days. Very comforting!

On October 12, I went to the doctor for an in-between-visits visit. I was 15 w 5d. I had gained about 6 pounds and all of my stats looked good. I made the appointment basically to ease my worry and to let me know that things were okay. Here's the skinny:

We got back into the room and the Nurse Practitioner tried to find the heart beat for several minutes and just wasn’t getting anything. I was about to freak out, thinking, “I cannot believe this is happening again!” She finally got it for just a second or two but couldn’t get a good reading from it. So she sent us over to the ultrasound tech. I wasn’t too nervous at this point because I could feel the baby pushing up against the her as she was pushing down on my stomach! We got to hear the heart beat and got to see lots of our little baby!

Everything looked great and we even got to find out what we’re having!! Looks like Addison was right, she’s going to get a SISTER!! We are so excited and thrilled that we got to find out so early! So even though it started out a bit nerve wracking it turned out to be a great appointment.

Oh, and I don't think that I posted it, but we got the 1st trimester screening results back and they are negative!! so everything looks wonderful to date and there are no indicators that anything is wrong. Praying!!

12 Week Appointment

2011-09-26T16:42:00.004-04:00

I went to the doctor this morning and had an ultrasound and regular doctor's appointment. The ultrasound was part of the first trimester screening that we opted to have. It measures the nuchal translucency, which is the thickening at the back of the baby's neck. If it's very thick it is a big indicator of a chromosomal issue (such as down's syndrome, trisomy 18 or trisomy 13). They use the measurements along with the blood work and place your results in the positive or negative range. We won't find out the results for about a week but the measurements were in the normal range so we are hoping that means good news! Our super sweet ultrasound tech (Barbara - the same one I had when we lost the baby) and she sounded optimistic.
The baby was moving all around and kept waving at us. It was so amazing to see! We both keep calling the baby a "he" which happened when we saw him/her on the screen. I can't wait to find out!! The heart beat was nice and strong at 165 beats per minute. The baby did measure one week ahead of what it sound have, so they moved my due date up a week to March 30th. I've gained 3.5 pounds now and seem to have been feeling a bit better over the past few days. I;m now 13.5 weeks which means I'm in my second trimester, which will hopefully mean I'll feel a lot better soon! I'm going back to the doctor in 2 weeks just to hear the heart beat, just for my peace of mind. Then I'll go back on the 24th for the anatomy scan where we will hopefully find out the sex of the baby! So I'm just trusting that God will give us a healthy pregnancy and baby.

A lot of Words

2011-08-30T09:47:00.005-04:00

The last year has been one of the most difficult I've experienced. It wasn't a year full of bad experiences and happenings per say but a very difficult one as far as my emotional state goes. I wanted to get pregnant again almost immediately after having lost the baby but I went on one month of birth control before deciding that definitely was not what I wanted. I had thoughts of immediately getting pregnant without any effort. Well, month after month, I wasn't pregnant, even with lots of effort. I had no idea that I wouldn't be able to get pregnant very quickly. I'd never been in the position of "trying" to get pregnant; in the past it just happened. I had always made the statement that we weren't trying, we were just letting God work and if he allowed me to become pregnant I would be happy and if not, it would come later. Well, over the past year that is definitely NOT how I was viewing it. I was just devastated every month when I wasn't pregnant. I know that we didn't have fertility issues but I was getting impatient and just didn't understand why it was proving to be so difficult. I wasn't the only one being let down either. Jordan was disappointed each month, even though at first he only went along with it because he knew I wanted it so much. Other than not getting pregnant I was doing pretty good with the grieving and getting over it.

And then February 7th came. What was to supposed to have been my due date. I still wasn't pregnant and it was a rough time. I just broke down that morning in the shower and had to take off work. I allowed myself to wallow in my self-pity for the day and just be sad for the loss that we had experienced. I know that sounds crazy but I think I just needed to acknowledge the day that should have represented such a wonderful time and a new phase of our lives and let myself grieve all of the plans that we had made and then lost. I was fine after that and went on with my life, being thankful for all of the blessing we've been given. But still somewhat bitter that I still wasn't able to pull out Addison's Big Sister shirt again.

In April, after about 7 months of not getting pregnant, I decided that I was spending too much time and effort trying to make things happen (things that I can't control) and that I really needed to focus on other things. I'd been putting off making plans in the future because I was planning out pregnancies that weren't happening (ex. I wouldn't commit to trips because I might be too big if I got pregnant). So I decided to take some online classes to finally finish my Associates Degree and to start running. I ran for about 2 months and really enjoyed it. I stopped because I was too busy with my classes (they started mid may) and because it just got WAY too hot to be outside, much less running! I felt more at peace with not being pregnant and decided that, although I wasn't completely abandoning my efforts, I wasn't going to stress and obsess over it anymore.

Finally on July 24, after 10 months of waiting and stressing, crying and frustration, and 11 months to the day after losing the baby, I saw two little purple lines on the pregnancy test!! I was so excited and so scared all at the same time. Jordan and I just stood and looked at the test and hugged and cried. We told our parents, family and close friends the next week. I've been super nauseous, which started around 5 weeks and has only intensified. I am not complaining at all since I'm taking the morning sickness as a good sign. I was, after all, really sick with Addison and not so much with pregnancy #2.

It's different this time. Of course I'm thrilled beyond words to finally be pregnant again but I'm having a harder time actually planning things out with this baby. Not that I'm waiting for something bad to happen, but the possibility is present in my mind. We went to the doctor the day after my birthday (great timing, I know. I refused to go on my birthday, August 24, the day we couldn't find a heart beat last year. I'm not superstitious but I just wasn't putting myself through that emotional ride). We were able to get a lot of information at my appointment. I'm due April 6th, although I think it might actually be a bit sooner than that. That puts me at 8 weeks. The doctor discussed our last pregnancy and the complications in more detail than we had been told before. She said that the thickening at the back of the baby's neck meant that there was most definitely a chromosomal problem with the baby (i.e. down's syndrome). When chromosomal issues are present in a pregnancy, there is a greater chance of second trimester miscarriage. We had been told back when it happened that there was an obtrusion on the back of the baby's neck and that there was a possibility that it could've been chromosomal, but we weren't really told with any amount of certainty. I actually felt that the doctors were just trying to console me and tell me that it happened due to nothing that I did.

Back to my appointment, the doctor let us know that the chances of us having another child with chromosomal issues is very slim and that 95% of the time it's just a fluke that it happens. She discussed the option of doing the first trimester screening, which screens for Down's Syndrome, trisomy 18 and trisomy 13. The screening is non-invasive and is done using a combination of ultrasound measurements of the nuchal translucency (the back of the baby's neck) and my blood work. It is done between 11 and 13 weeks. The bad thing is that it is not a definitive test and there is a somewhat high percentage that you can be in the positive range without having anything wrong with the baby. The only way to find out for sure (if you were in the positive range) if there were chromosomal issues would be to do an amniocentesis. So Jordan and I decided that we did want to do the screening, although even if we were in the positive range, we still wouldn't do an amnio. We just thought that we were going to worry over this pregnancy weather we did the screening or not so we are just hoping to get a negative result to give us a bit of peace of mind.

So, my next appointment is on September 26th and we will have an ultrasound and do the screening. We are praying for a healthy baby and that I will be able to calm down and not worry so much...

Oh, and Addison is super excited to be a big sister! And she is totally convinced that she is going to have a sister. I guess she'll be in for a wake-up call if its a boy!

Addison Memories!

2011-06-23T15:02:00.002-04:00

I was putting Addison to bed last night and the conversation that we had was so cute that I just wanted to record it while I still (mostly) remembered it.

I was rocking Addison in her room as I do every night for about five minutes before I put her in her crib. She sips on her milk and talks to me about whatever she's thinking about or asks me to sing her favorite songs or if she's really sleepy I sing soft sweet bedtime songs to her as she's drinking. Well last night she was running out of milk and I hadn't poured her very much so...

Me: "Do you want Mommy to go get some more milk for you?"
Addison: looks at her sippy cup then, "No, I still got plenty."
Me: amazed at what she just said and trying not to laugh. "Oh, Ok Baby."
We rock for a few more minutes
Addison: "Conner and Ellett play with my toe-ries (toys) in the living room."
Me: "Yes, Conner and Ellett came to your house and you did so good to share your toys with them!"
Addison: "How Sweet!"
Me: laughing, "Yes, Baby, You are such a sweet girl!"
Addison: grinning, "Say it again!!"
(that went on about five times before I went ahead and put her in her crib. I normally stand there with her for another few minutes and talk to her a bit then leave her to go to sleep. She is a great sleeper and super easy to put down.)
Addison: looking at her sippy cup and noting the amount of milk she had left "I still got a few plenty."
Me: laughing "Oh, you do?"
Addison: "Yeah." then hands me the cup "Here go, Mommy. Put it in the Fridge."
Me: "You want me to put it in the Fridge for you?"
Addison: "Yeah it's cold in there, huh?"
Me: still laughing "Yes baby. You go to sleep now okay? I love you."
Addison: chattering away as I walk out the door.

She is so silly and she talks non-stop. She'll look at you while you're having a conversation and ask, "Mommy, are you talkin'?" or ask, "whatare you doin'?" She just has the most adorable little voice and most the time she is super sweet.

A few nights ago she told me she wanted to sing the "tiny tiny baby song." I have no clue what that is or where she got it but it was cute and she was persistent that I sing it to her. So I started singing, "I have a tiny little baby...(making up lots of silly lyrics cradling my two year old as if she were still a tiny little baby)" She looked at me, pointed at her chest and said, "My name's Addison!" So I started singing, "I've got a tiny little Baaaaby, Her name is Addison Kaaaaa-te, And I love my tiny little baaaaby, I just think she is so great!!" She then asked me to sing it about 10 times and as I was getting ready to leave she asked one last time but as I was singing, interrupted and said "I'm not a tiny baby, I'm BIG!" That girl cracks me up!!

Addison

2011-05-26T10:58:00.004-04:00

We were riding to dinner last night and Jordan told Addison to tell me what happened during the day. She responded with "I hit Ellett." Greaaat! She then told me that she got a "pop pop" from her Nana after she hit Ellett in the face. She was very matter-of-fact about it. I asked her if she was going to hit Ellett again and she's like "Yeah!" I told her that it made Mommy very sad that she hit Ellett and she laughed and then fake cried. I hope that she was able to learn a lesson...

She's pretty bossy with Ellett although she loves him to death and can't wait to see him most of the time. We're working on learning to share-both toys and people! Addison has a mini-hissyfit if I hold Ellett or talk to him or hug on him. You could say that Addison is slightly jealous.

The other night we were watching the Backyardigans (because if Addison is awake and we are at home, chances are she's wanting to watch the Backyardigans) and Jordan had to leave to go to his friend Joel's house to help with a car. About 30 minutes later I was putting Addison to bed and she asked for her Daddy. Before I would even answer her to tell that Jordan wasn't home she said, "Daddy's not here. He's at Joel's house..." then "Daddy can't sing right now." My girl is just so smart. She picks up on everything and can talk so well! She just amazes me! (and no I'm not biased at all...)

Zoo Trip!

2011-05-07T21:36:00.001-04:00

On Saturday we went to the zoo with my Mom and Dad and had such a good time! We had beautiful weather with a nice breeze blowing most of the day.

Addison did so good! She walked for a little bit but rode in her stroller for most of the day. She only wore the sunglasses for a few minutes when we first got there. I guess she decided that their spiderman theme didn't go with her chic zoo outfit!

As we were riding to Asheboro we were asking Addison what animals she wanted to see and I named a few. She listened and then said the she wanted to see the elephants. And then she begged to see them until we found them (thankfully the were one of the first animals we came to). And then close to the end of the visit we asked her what her favorite animal was and she immediately said the elephants! So we had to stop back by to see the elephants before we left. She kept calling them, saying "Come here elephants!! come here!"

She even got to ride on one!

I thought the zebras and giraffes were really beautiful but Addison wasn't very interested in them. They just weren't close enough for her to really get into it.

Our attempt at getting her to smile. It obviously didn't work If you look really closely you might can see a few of the giraffes in the background.

This is one of the ghost alligators. They are albinos. They weren't very big and it was kind of hard to see them. Jordan had to hold the camera way out over the rock to get a picture of this one. And the camera focused on the rock instead of the alligator but I like the way the picture turned out.

This is one of the other ones. They weren't very big and the just floated serenely around in the water.

The flamingos were fun to look at but super stinky!

Addison and Grandee (and the giant face sunscreen. This is in almost every picture of Addison. She held it all day! She likes to take the lid off and on. I looked over a few times and she was riding in the stroller with her foot propped up on the tray and the lid on her big toe. Silly girl!)

Looking at the fish.

And she's still looking at the fish.

Now she just looks scared (notice the sunscreen...still in her hand). Something in the avirary made my eyes start itching (which didn't stop for the rest of the day. I wanted to rip my contacts out) and my nose started running. I must have a had a reaction to something in there.

Silly girl!

Loved this picture of my Mom!

I think this was probably Addison's very favorite part of the day!!

It was really hard to catch her in a picture but Jordan was able to snap these two. They're blurry but too cute not to post!

The only reason she's not happy here is because the ride ended and we were making her get off. She kept saying "one more time-yes!" I think she thinks if she says yes to something then she'll be able to do it. Funny!

This turtle made me laugh. He was balanced on the top of the log with his back right leg and front left leg sticking up in the air. It kind of reminded me of the old turtle guy in "Kong Fu Panda".

Addison was pretty excited about the turtles swimming in the water. They were right up on the glass and she loved it!

She really enjoyed chasing them.

Sweetheart!

She loves her Papaw!!

On the tram at the end of the day. We look exhausted!

This picture cracks me up! She was so sleepy and she kept poking her bottom lip out. Anytime she didn't get what she wanted that bottom lip poked right out. She's got her sunscreen of course and the blue and yellow "blanket"...there's a story to it. We accidentally left her night night at home and she noticed about 20 minutes in to the trip. I knew it was going to be a long day and that there would probably be some meltdowns. We stopped for breakfast and Mom found this little knitted shopping bag and we gave it to Addison. She was just kind of like "what is this?" and then she looked up at me and asked "Another night night?" translated to: I've never seen this one before and it's a different color and smaller but it feels the same and it might work if you tell me it's another night night. :) It ended up doing the trick and she held onto it all day. Silly thing!

I'm so glad we went before it got super hot. Addison did great and we all had a good time!

Easter 2011 in pictures

2011-04-24T22:45:00.001-04:00

Dinner at Greg's

2011-04-16T22:27:00.002-04:00

Painting Easter Eggs with Salem

2011-04-15T22:55:00.003-04:00

Dad's Birthday

2011-04-13T22:37:00.001-04:00

Stone Mountain NC

2011-04-01T22:15:00.001-04:00

Here is a post full of pictures from a family trip to Stone Mountain. They have been saved here as a draft for about 6 months. I kept thinking I'd get around to writing captions for the pictures, but I don't think that's going to happen. We had fun!

OBX

2011-03-18T09:52:00.002-04:00

We were able to get away for a few days and used some points from our timeshare to go to the beach. Since it was super last minute and planned all of 6 days before we went, there was only one place open on the coast and that was Duck, NC. I had never heard of Duck so we googled it and found out it's on the Outer Banks. I was worried it was going to be too long of a drive for just 4 days, but it was only about an hour and a half further than Myrtle Beach. We stayed in a condo which wasn't the most modern place ever, but it wasn't awful... The resort had an indoor pool and beach access a few buildings over from our building.

Here are driving from our condo to the beach access. It was just across the parking lot so we let Addison ride on Jordan's lap, which she loved!

The ocean was calm and the weather was beautiful!

Unfortunately, Addison was scared of the water and absolutely hated the sand, so we only stayed on the beach for about 15 minutes. Probably best that we weren't out long because I didn't even bring sunscreen with us since I wasn't expecting to have 70 degree weather.

Addison was grumpy and wouldn't look at the camera at all. It didn't help that in order to get the water int he background we had to look right into the sun, hence the squinting.

This is not a great picture but it's what we've got. A sweet lady volunteered to get some shots of us as a family and even knew how to use our camera!

There were only two things on the beach that interested Addison that she wasn't also terrified of and that was the other "babies" on the beach and the sea gulls. This is her pointing at the birds. She was so concerned that the other babies we saw were sitting and playing in the sand. She kept whining "Babies, sand" and fake crying for them. I guess she hated the sand so much that she assumed everyone else hates it too and she felt bad for the poor other little children whose parents made them sit in the sand! Cute little thing!

This is what she did most of the time. I should also note that Addison's bad mood wasn't helped by the fact that it was 3 int he afternoon and she had yet to nap. We were all pretty tired for most of the trip because Addison "sleeping"in her pack-n-play in the in same room as Jordan and I did not go well. She woke up almost everytime we moved around in the squeaky bed and then whined until we brought her in our bed. She then flopped around so much that I could not sleep. We were all pretty much up by 6 every morning without much hope for a nap anytime soon. But we still had a great trip and I enjoyed all the time I was able to spend with my girl!

Because no trip is complete without a crappy attempt at a self portrait! At least Addison is looking up and not crying... :)

I couldn't get the great artistic shot I was imagining with the water coming right up to her name, but it works.

Although it wasn't super relaxing with a 22 month old in tow, it was a fun trip! I cherish every moment I get with my toddler because these days are flying by. She is so sweet and so much fun!

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

2011-03-17T21:28:00.007-04:00

Here are some pictures from tonight. We had to take pictures of Addison because her little St. Patty's Day shirt was so cute! It is also her 22 month old birthday! (Side note: I'm mad at blogger right now because it won't let me move the pictures around, so they are actually in backwards order. not that it really matters...but it irritates me!)

Here's our self portrait. It was take 3 after Jordan kept making goofy faces. I just got me hair cut and got low-lights so my hair's looking pretty dark. I like it dark, although I am considering some blonde highlights for the summer...maybe.

Addison is so trying to wiggle away from me here. She was so busy playing that she really did not want to slow down for pictures. She was so over it. This one cracks me up because she looks just like her daddy with that face! And it's tough to get a smile out of her when the camera's pointed at her. We got some but we took about 50 pictures.
This was what she did after I told her that if she wanted to go play then she had to smile pretty for the camera...not the best smile. And it's out of focus but that's okay.

The best I could get of Addie and Daddy! It's a motion shot...

There's a cute little grin! I think I was standing behind Jordan winking at her and making faces.
Here's a good shot of her shirt. "Daddy's Lucky Girl" I thought it was adorable! She looks like such a big girl here, instead of my little baby!

And here's the crinkle-nose smile! Love it! :)

We love her so much (totally smitten, might be a good term to use!) She is such a sweet little girl, with so much to say and show to the world!

Addison-ism's

2011-03-17T16:07:00.002-04:00

My child is very vocal. Jordan and I were talking about her development and looked online to see some kind of stats on what a 21/22 month old should be able to do. It said they should be able to say around 30 words. I'd say that she knows well over 100 words and their meanings not including what she can repeat on demand. She says the funniest things as she's exploring her vocabulary and learning to form sentences. Here are a few things she's been saying that I want to remember. She really makes me laugh! :)

* While riding in the car, Addison apparently saw a bird because she suddenly says, "Bird! Tweet, tweet! Caaaw, Caaaw!"

* Addison labels most loud engine-y noises as airplanes (eh-paaane!) and looks up and says "upupupup in da sky!"

* We were on our way to the outer banks last weekend (a post with pictures will come soon!) we went across one of the long bridges over the sound to the island. All you could see was water and Addison looks to left and says "Wa-er!!" then she looks to her right and exclaims "TWO wa-ers!"

* Addison is learning to count. She's getting better with it but you have to start with One, two, three and she'll say four and five sometimes six or waits for you to say six then says seven and eight. The nine and ten don't normally happen, although she did she "seben, eigh, Nana" the other day, so that was getting close! :)

* Anytime we go past a pasture with pretty much any type of animal, Addison tells me that it's a "Moo-tow!" She loves Moo-Cows! and giddy-ups (horses), and bak-baks (chickens), and sheep! pretty much all farm animals!

* One of her favorite things is to request songs that she wants us to sing to her. When she's really sleepy and clingy she asks for "hush-il-baby" (Hush Little Baby). She asks for "E-I-O" (Old MacDonald had a Farm), "March!" (either If You're Happy and You Know It or Lord's Army which she also calls "yessir!"), "Sessame" (Jesus Loves Me), "Issy Spyr" (The Itsy Bitsy Spider ...she loves the hand signs and grins and giggles while you're singing!). I'm sure there are other songs she requests but I can't think of them right now.

* My little sweetie is repeating everything she hears now! We really have to be careful what we let her hear on the TV and the radio (or what we say... I don't really want my almost-two-year-old says "Dang" or "Oh my gosh!").

* This is one of the funniest things she's said...and so smart! We were sitting in my bedroom and Addison found a nearly empty ibuprofen bottle and started throwing it, saying "Addison fow it!". Jordan and I both scolded her about throwing and took it away from her when she continued to do it. She cried so I told her she could have it back, but if she threw it one more time, I would take it away for good. She nodded and held it tightly to her chest. She was walking around with it when she looked at me and says "Daddy said fow it..." She was totally making that up and testing me with it! We laughed so hard and when I finally stopped laughing, had to tell her that NO, Daddy did not say that she could throw it! Funny Girl!

* This doesn't really have a lot to do with Addison talking but she is getting close to being able to start the potty-training process. She sees me potty and has to get her little potty and set it right next to the toilet. She then sits on it and will smile up at me then pause for a minute and tell me "Addison pee pee!" Now, I have no idea whether she's actually peeing at that moment or not since she's fully diapered and clothed. But she tells us immediately when she poops and she is definitely interested in the potty process. I think in the next few months we'll really start to get serious about it. I'm not going to push it too much yet since she's not even two yet. My goal would be to have her potty trained by the time she's 2 1/2. We'll see.

* I'm getting ready to make the switch to a size 4 diaper for her. She's been in a 3 for probably over a year now and it still fits pretty well but it starting to get kind of snug so I think the 4 will definitely be more comfy for her!

* When she's running away from me or doing something that she shouldn't be I'll call out "Addison Kate!" and she repeats it, which is just super cute! "A-i-son Tate!" We got her to say Addison Cline for a while and then she would say "Mommy Cline, Daddy Cline, Nana Cline, Papaw Cline" (all of which were right)"then "Grandee Cline, Papaw Cline, Kyla (Lyla) Cline" (which were not right, but it was cute!)

She's such a sweet girl and has started asking for hugs when she's saying goodbye. It's really cute and I am so hoping that she will continue to become more and more snuggly! I love some sweet Addison snuggles!

POP!

2011-02-16T15:17:00.003-05:00

So.... I popped Addison's (diapered) butt for the first time yesterday. It was effective! We were fixing supper while Addison was sitting in her high chair and had just finished eating her yogurt. I guess she was bored just sitting there so she started squealing. loudly. and often. So I got on to her and told her she was being "not nice" (a term she understands). I said this to her several times and as I was getting her out of the high chair and the squealing was continuing, I told her that if she squealed/screamed one more time then I was going to pop her butt. I knew she was testing me and seeing how far she could take it (the look she gave me as she was squealing was very telling). So she waited a minute or two and then gave a loud but short squeal. I came over to her and barely popped her. She broke down, cried and made a big deal for about 10 seconds. She went running to her Daddy then came right back over to me and wanted me to hold her. After about a minute of resting her little head on my shoulder she wanted to get down and play tea in her room.

The spanking worked (she didn't squeal for the rest of the night) and it didn't make me feel horrible. I was nervous but knew that if I threatened to pop and then didn't follow through after she misbehaved again, it would be very counter-productive. Jordan saw the whole thing and didn't really comment until later that evening when Addison was whining over something, he said "Don't mess with Mommy, she's tough!" I think he was surprised I had the nerve to actually pop her, though he's not against it. I can't really see him spanking her though. He's a softie!

Moving on...

I never blogged about the concert last weekend. It was fun, although had some rocky spots. We got to Charlotte fine and got a good (tiny) parking spot near the venue. We ate dinner (which was really yummy) then waited in line for about 30 minutes before going inside. about an hour later the opening band started their thing and I started feeling super sick on my stomach! I pretty much spent the whole opening act (don't worry, I really didn't miss much there...if you get what I'm saying) either laying int he car or in the bathroom. Fun times. :( But by the time Jimmy Eat World took the stage I was feeling quite a bit better. The only two songs that I knew ("The Middle" and "Sweetness") were saved for the encore and were awesome! I sang/yelled along with every word and jumped up and down and nearly got trampled by some guys standing next to us, but it was great. The last five minutes were awesome! We didn't get back home until about 12:45 and I went straight to bed! I've decided that if I go to another concert, it will be to see a group or an artist that I love and own several CDs of and all of whose songs I know well. Jimmy Eat World was great but the best part is when you can sing along with them, I for the first hour I couldn't do that because I didn't know any of the songs.

We had a good Valentine's Day on Monday even though Jordan and I didn't really do much in the way of celebration. We exchanged cards on Sunday night and then didn't make any definitive plans to have a date night. Jordan wrote sweet things in my card and told me he owed me dinner and a bead (a Pandora bead, in case you were wondering. I got the bracelet for Christmas and now almost have it full...I may have gone a bit over board with the bead purchasing, but don't tell Jordan and I just admitted to it...). I got my bead (love it!) on Monday along with some cute, happy tulips and we're doing dinner tomorrow night (at Carrabba's...yum!). We eat out a lot but we don't normally go without Addison, so tomorrow will feel more like a date!

I hope y'all have a good week!

Fingernail Polish and Rock Concerts (among many other things)

2011-02-04T13:17:00.008-05:00

I think I have a new favorite lunch routine! I get an hour lunch break everyday and I spend it differently each day. Sometimes I got out to eat with whichever coworker has the same lunch hour as I do. Sometimes I eat on the go and run errands the whole time, which is not relaxing and I normally come back to work very frazzled but with a sense of accomplishment. Sometimes I shop and sometimes I sit in an unused office, eating a sandwich while reading or surfing the internet. Most of the time my lunch break has little to do with actual eating (although you know I love to eat and never skip out on it).

So my new favorite thing to do is to eat quickly then go and get my nails painted! I love to have polish on my fingernails but I do a very crappy job when attempting painting them at home, so I pay to have it done. I could go after work or on the weekends but then the problem of what-to-do-with-an-active-toddler-while-waiting-on-polish-to-dry arises and I hate to get someone else to watch her even more than I already have to. So I've decided that if I want to pamper myself with a quick fingernail polish application then my lunch hour is the ideal (if not only) time to do it. So that's what I've been doing once a week for the past two weeks (Today I got dark purple! Love it!). It's fun and I don't get mommy guilt over spending time away from Addison since I wouldn't be seeing her then anyways.

On another note, tomorrow I'm going with Kyla and my friend, Jessica to a Jimmy Eat World concert. None of my coworkers know who this band is unless I sing the chorus from "The Middle" and then they recognize the song. I'm excited about going, but kind of nervous. Not because I'm going to be away from my baby for a whole evening/night (she'll be with Jordan-and I'm not nervous about him with her either), or because I'm scared I won't have fun with the girls I'm going with, but I think it's because I've never been to a concert that wasn't a Christian band before and I'm not always a fan of loud, crowded places, and being in the city makes me uncomfortable (we're going to Charlotte-which, since I know you are wondering, is the largest city in NC with a population of 750k, according to Kyla). I don't think I'm going to be driving so that cuts out my fear of showing off my not-so-discreet terrible parallel parking skills. I think it's going to be fun and it will definitely be something out of my normal weekend activities (those include watching Pooh bear with Addison, going to Walmart with Addison and trying to catch up on dish washing, laundry, and DVRed shows from the previous week, with the occasional nap thrown in the mix-I know, I'm such a wild woman!)

My cousin Zach come up from Georgia last weekend and spent a few days with us. We had a low-key weekend, watching Airplane and Despicable Me (both of which were funny but in a very, very different way!) and playing some Rock Band. Addison made him have a tea party with her and also demanded much of his attention while she was awake, saying his name over and over again. I think she must have remembered him from past visits because she was almost immediately comfortable with him, where it normally takes her a little while to warm up to new people. I'm glad he got to come for a bit. It was a fun weekend!

I'm trying to keep myself busy for the next little while so that I don't think too much of what I'm missing out on. My would've/should've been due date is coming up on Monday and it makes me sad to think about. I'm just trying hard to not think too much of it and to stay happy while focusing on all the wonderful blessings God has put in my life. Addison keeps me smiling and laughing and Jordan and I are in a great place, so I have much to be thankful for.

We have, in a (possible) moment of insanity, put our house on the market. So that means we have to try to keep it as clean as possible for the random, unplanned showings that will (hopefully) happen. It's been a week and so far no bites but we are staying optimistic. We bought the house last year with intentions of selling it when the market went up again. It hasn't yet really, but we thought we'd just see what happens. I would love to sell it really soon, but if we don't it's not a huge deal. We may or may not have already picked out a house with a great location that we would love to move into and we may or may not have already thought of what we would do to personalize and upgrade the interior. Maybe. :) We're just praying about it (among other things) and waiting to see what God makes happen in our lives.

I think that's all I have for today. I'll keep you updated on how the concert turns out...Hope you have a great weekend!

Addison pictures that I just found

2011-02-02T09:11:00.000-05:00

Here are some pictures that I had uploaded to blogger for a post over the summer and never got around to finishing it. These are from some time in June when we to Kerr Scott Lake for a day trip to visit with Jordan's family (his parents were camping out there and the rest of us drove up to meet them). Addison was just over a year old and she was having a ball eating/playing with marshmallows. She was such a little ham!

She loved my Gatorade! Would not let go of the bottle. Got upset when she up-ended it and nothing come out. Too little to understand about lids.

We had quite the sticky mess to clean up!

What a cute little serious face! Those eyes get me every time! :)
She had such fun feeding her Daddy.

I love looking back at pictures of her from months before. I don't realize just how much she's changed and grown into a cute little girl instead of my adorable baby. I love the fat rolls on her short little arms and her wispy barely-there hair! She was and still is such an expressive child. People comment about that all the time (which I think is funny because Addison is all I know as far as children go, so I always just think that all babies do the same things she does. I guess not?)

Enjoy these lost photos!

All About Addison

2011-02-01T09:54:00.006-05:00

(Yes, I have an Addison Obsession. And, Yes, she is the only thing I have to talk about...ever) Addison is becoming such a big girl! She is so sweet and just hilarious to watch. Here are some Addison-isms:

* She can answer you when you ask what her name is and you can actually tell what she's saying (for the most part anyway...sounds kind of like "Aa-i-sin" if you say it really fast). She used to say "Addie (Aa-EE)". Where's my baby gone?

* Last week Jordan, Kyla, Addison and I went out to eat (Chang Thai-new Thai place we discovered which is so, so good! Addison spent the whole car ride saying "Chang Thai!" in the cutest little voice) and on the way home Jordan burped really loud. Kyla responded with an enthusiastic "Niiiiice!" to which Addison promptly repeated. Kyla and Jordan thought that it was hilarious so they kept making themselves burp so Addison would say "nice!" Thankfully she hasn't really done it since so I'm hoping she forgot it (unlikely). We're (or rather...I'm) working on her saying "excuse me" for burps. She knows that when you poot you say excuse me (or "moo me" in Addison-ese). If some around her poots and she hears, she'll suck her breath in and look at you really wide-eyed then laugh, say "moo me!" and then she'll say "Mommy (just for example sake) poo poo!!"

* Addison has a new facial expression that we call her mirror face. She stands in front of the mirror and raises her eyebrows as far as she can and brings her chin against her neck (creating multiple chins) and smile. She holds this face for a few seconds then laughs very dramatically at herself and then repeats the process. This girl is DRAMATIC! Can't wait until her teenage years! (Can you hear my sarcasm?)

* Addison knows how to group our family and friends into pairs or family units. We can ask her "Who does Pat (my aunt) go with?" and she'll say "Giiiinnn!" (Glenn-my uncle). She does this for most of my aunts and uncles or couples that we know. At night when we put her to bed she always prays for everyone she can think of. It's cute because I'll prompt her with a family member when she runs out of people to name and she names the rest of their family. I'll say "Lori" (Jordan's sister) and she repeats (La-wee) then says "Ellett" (Eh-it), "Conner" (Non-nah) and "Brent" (Bent). She looks at me and waits for me to repeat the name before she goes to the next one. We do this with lots of our friends and family. The first name out of her mouth is always "Sylas" (Sy-iss) then "Banyon" (Mam-in) sometimes followed by "Kirby" (Lob-ee) and "Dustin" (Ust-in). Then at the end she always says "Amen!" (several times)

* Speaking of "Amen", this Sunday Addison stayed with me for most of worship (as opposed to going to play in the nursery) so she was in the auditorium for the closing prayer. She stayed quiet and folded her little hands and squeezed her eyes shut, peeking out at me every few seconds. After the man leading the prayer said "amen" and before it got loud with everyone starting to talk, Addison yells "Aaaammennn!" out into the silence. Everyone start looking at her and laughing so that's all I heard about for the afternoon. It was really cute and only a little embarrassing!

* Addison is very much a girly-girl. She loves purses, chap stick and playing tea with her tea set. It's so cute to watch her carry her purse on her arm because it won't stay on her shoulder, so in order to keep it from falling off her little arm, she walks (or rather, she runs) around with her arm up, hand raised. She keeps little nick-knacks in her bag, such as multiple chap sticks, a stick of baby sunscreen that she calls her BIG chapstick, a Belle (from Beauty and the Beast) tiny figurine, Tigger figurine, one of her baby dolls' bottles, and some fake credit cards. She likes to empty everything out and then put it all back in. She also makes anyone who visits our house come to her room and sit down ("Nit Nown" while patting the chair) at her tiny Pooh Bear table so that she can serve them tea. Her favorite thing is for you to say "More, please" ("Mowe, peez" she repeats while grinning) to get a refill from her tea pot. It amazes me how she knew immediately how to "pour" the tea from the pot into the little pink cups and give it out to her "guests". It must be ingrained in her female DNA or something.

* Something else that amazes me is how she plays with her baby dolls or stuffed animals. She was doing one of her puzzles the other day and had her kitty cat with her (by far her favorite of the "babies", the one that she must have along with her night night (blanket) to go to sleep at night) and held the puzzle piece handle in the kitty cat's paw and put it in its spot. Then she looks at the kitty cat and said "Thank you, kitty cat!" (Nay noo, Tiddydat!) then repeated it several times to me including the sign for "thank you" until I realized what she was saying. Now she says it all the time. She also plays tea with her kitty cat by propping it up in the chair and passing the tea cup to it and taking it back saying "thank you kitty cat" and "more please." When I'm rocking her at night (between naming people in the ongoing nightly prayer) she sips on her milk. She has to offer it to her kitty cat and night night, as well as me and the rest on the toys across the room, while she makes sippy noises as we all "drink" her milk. She thinks this is funny but also uses it as a bedtime-delaying tactic. she definitely has a good imagination. She also likes to put chap stick on all her toys (but not really because it's rolled down too far in the tube).

She does tons of funny, cute things and I can't remember them all but I hope these gave you a smile or laugh for the day. :)

And I'm Back

2011-01-13T12:41:00.000-05:00

Wow, it's been a long time since I've blogged about anything. We've been busy with life for the past few months and I just haven't had much motivation to write (obviously the holidays weren't motivating me since I missed Addison turning 18 months old, Thanksgiving, Christmas, our Anniversary (6 yrs) and New Year's). Here's some bullet points to cover the past few months.

* Addison turned 18 months (and then 19 months) and I didn't write about what she's been up to, so here goes...Addison is such a sweet girl! She loves to hug and kiss you or her baby dolls/stuffed animals. She went to the doctor in November for her 18 month appointment and is a healthy little girl; her weight is in the 25th percentile, height is in the 50th percentile and her head circumference is in the 80th percentile. She talks non stop and entered a "NO!" phase but fortunately left it behind after just a few weeks. She now has the cutest little "Yeah" and knows that she is super cute, which she totally uses to her advantage. It's so hard to not give into whatever she wants with her big eyes and sweet smile! Addison got TWO baby strollers for her baby dolls and she will tell you all about them if asked. She thought that all wrapped presents were baby dolls so she was slightly disappointed to find out that some of them weren't. She's starting to talk in short sentences and can call all of our family and friends by name. It's very cute.

* We've been staying busy with the car lot. I finally figured out how to make a facebook page for it, (it's PAY HERE AUTO SALES. Feel free to LIKE us). Lots of cars have been sold and the business is doing pretty good. We have fun hanging out with our friends (and business partners) Kirby and Dustin. Addison is in love with their two boys!

* I'm having a hard time coming up with bullet point topics...(sad considering I'm covering 2 months of my life)

* I got a bad cold (immediately preceded by the stomach bug) in the beginning of November and I'm still dealing with it (although it is not bad at all now compared to what it was). Addison had been sick off and on for the same amount of time. She just got over a horrible cough that also coincided with teething. (She has 16 teeth now. Next up? 2 year molars)

* Christmas was lots of fun. We celebrated with Mom and Dad and Kyla on Christmas Eve. I got Kyla a bed pillow which are called "husbands". We had a lot of fun telling people that I got her a husband for Christmas. Lunch on Christmas Day was spent with Mom and Dad and Kyla again (impromptu lunch at the Chinese Restaurant. We waited for the "Fra Ra Ra's" and the turkey with the head still attached, but it never came. :) Gotta love that movie!). It started snowing around noon on Christmas and kept snowing until the next day. We ended up with about 6 inches of snow and it was so beautiful! We had Jordan's family over for dinner and had a great time.

* I'm going to be a New Employee Training (NET) Instructor for my work. I'm kind of excited and nervous about this. It's only for once or twice a year and I'm set to start in February. We'll see...

Here are some pictures from the past few months:

Addison in November wearing an adorable little outfit that my sister and I wore we we were little. My mom made it. She really didn't want her picture made in this one.

But once she got a cracker she was just fine!

This is from Thanksgiving day. She was not liking the camera this day either.

Dena and Ellett on Thanksgiving.

Me and Addison. This was the best we could do for a Thanksgiving family picture. She was screaming by the time that Jordan joined us so we just gave up.

Lori, Jordan and Dena. His two sisters.

The Collins family. Lori, Ellett, Conner, and Brent.

Christmas Eve at my parents house. Addison was loving the baby dolls!

Addison had a pen cap that she was using as a tool to "fix" the Ferris wheel. She really kept herself entertained with it and was very intent on "fixing" it.

Sisters

Not so great family picture!

Addison with her grandparents. Her face in this picture cracks me up.

All of us. Glad Kyla knew how to use the timer on her camera.

Addison on Christmas morning in her new chair that "Santa" brought her. Can you tell she liked it?

Cinnamon rolls on Christmas morning. Yum!

Addison was really impressed with the purse from GranDee. It came with a wallet, debit card, cell phone and lipstick.

She also really liked the puzzle.

My dad really liked the hat and mittens Addison got! :)

And the both really liked the snow!

Ellett being so sweet and cute later that night!

Lori and Addison (who was trying to wiggle away)

Jordan, his dad and Grandparents with a still wiggly Addison.

Me and my Baby girl!

Christmas family pictureOur house in the snow. And the tree Jordan created with lights.

ABC's of me

2011-01-10T23:11:00.002-05:00

I stole this from my friend LeeAnn's blog. I don't have much creativity for coming up with blog posts. I'm sure you've noticed since I've been absent for about 2 months. I'm planning comeback, though, and this doesn't have anything to do with it. It's just fun!

A - Age: 24
B - Bed Size: King
C - Chore you hate: hand washing dishes, vacuuming, cleaning the bathroom, dusting, oh wait. I thought that said choreS!
D - Dog's name: Tripp, otherwise known as "Bip" in Addisonese
E - Essential start your day item: toilet?
F- Favorite color: umm...Probably blue
G - Gold or Silver: silver most of the time
H - Height: 5'4"
I - Instruments you play(ed): the recorder in 6th grade chorus. And that's it...unless rock band guitar counts. :)
J - Job title: Senior Teller, and MOM
K - Kid(s): Miss Addison Kate
L - Living arrangements: In a house with Jordan and Addison and Tripp
M - Mom's name: D'Lea
N - Nicknames: Jen Dae
O - Overnight hospital stay other than birth: Does this mean when I was birthed or when I was giving birth? either way those would be the only times for me.
P - Pet Peeves: um...know-it-alls
Q - Quote from a movie: "little full, lotta sap" -Clark Griswald in Christmas Vacation
R - Right or left handed: right handed
S - Siblings: one, Kyla
T - Time you wake up: 7:00
U- Underwear: YES and ALWAYS
V - Vegetable you dislike: peas. I really had to think about this one. I like most of them.
W - Ways you run late: not getting up in time, not giving myself as much time as is needed to get everything ready (i.e. making sippy cup and snack for diaper bag, rounding up favorite toys to take with, dressing wiggly toddler, choosing outfit for said wiggly toddler...you choose)
X - X-rays you've had: teeth
Y - Yummy food you make: have to think...(and not because the list is long.) Jordan would say meatloaf...I like my pasta salad.
Z - Zoo favorite: the air-conditioned buildings :) (or the polar bears)

Family Pictures

2010-11-03T22:37:00.003-04:00

I decided that I really wanted to get some outdoor family pictures done before there were no leaves left on the trees. So... I called my sister and asked if she would be our photographer for an afternoon. We planned it very last minute and then I wasn't sure that the lighting would work out because it was a bit overcast, but I think that they turned out really good! Here are some of the best that Kyla has already cropped and edited. Love them!!

I think this last one (actually the first ones taken but blogger uploaded in backwards order) is my favorite. It might just make an appearance on our Christmas cards...

Wordless Wednesday

2010-11-03T10:07:00.000-04:00

Enjoy these pictures of my cutie pie!

Have a great day!

Halloween 2010

2010-11-01T22:18:00.000-04:00

Addison was a kitty cat for Halloween and she was the cutest, sweetest little cat ever! She was so good the whole night and ever fussed once about wearing her costume (just fussed a little when she saw food...the girl always wants to eat!)

On her way to Trick or Treat!
Such a cute little grin. I think she must have known that we were going to be getting some candy!
She loved all of Jordan's Grandma's (Tutti) decorations, especially the cats!
Most of the pictures I took were of her chasing after the candy bucket that Jordan was holding. She was loving the candy corn!
Isn't this just the most adorable little face in the world? And you want to know what she's looking at so intently? What else but her Candy bucket!

Tutti has a small fish pond in her yard and Addison really enjoyed looking at it. She kept doing her sign her fish (hands together and "swimming").

Yeah, this didn't last very long. She grabbed a whole handful of candy corn and tried to shove them all in her mouth. Silly kitty!

Our next stop was Jeff and Gena's house. She stood by the yard display and when we went to leave she then told each individual pumpkin and flower "Bye Bye." She's really into telling everyone ( and thing) "Bye Bye."

Addie and Daddy.

With Nana and Papaw.

With Nana.

Daddy, Mommy and Addison. Notice the tennis balls in her hands. She is obsessed with any ball that she sees and must hold one in each hand. She's gotten good about knowing that she can't take them with her and that she'll get to see them when she comes back to where ever she left them.

With Papaw

We stopped by the Trunk or Treat at the church that Chuck and LeeAnn go to. We only briefly crossed paths with LeeAnn and Salem. But it was long enough for a photo op! Salem was dressed as Charlotte from Charlotte's Web such a cute little spider!

Our next stop was GranDee and Grandpa's house. I didn't get any good pictures of her with them this year (Lots from last year as you can see here). She had to relax a bit in her favorite chair and eat some raisins while we were there.

This one is cute with my dad and Addison cheesing it up at each other. They love each other so much! Sweet!

Hope y'all had a great Halloween, too!

Pictures from Mom's Party

2010-10-25T21:58:00.000-04:00

Addison had such a good time at Mom's surprise party. She loved all of the rocking chairs that were in the building and played with her toys and the other kids there.
When we first got there on Saturday to finish the set-up, Addison just sat in this big rocking chair and rocked for about 10 minutes (which is a long time for her to be still). She had to be holding her blanket, doggie, baby and her juice the whole time. And that was also while she was in her car seat and while being taken out of her car seat. Very tricky maneuvering...
Sweet girl!Here's the sign we made for Dad to park the car in for Mom. She was so shocked when she realized what was going on!

Me, Kyla and Mom. We all ended up wearing greens and blues so we were coordinating.
My cutie and me.
Just a tiny portion of the food that we had.
Addison and Her Great Meemaw. We had such a good time!

The weekend

2010-10-18T09:49:00.007-04:00

We had a good, fast-paced weekend.

Friday was a busy day at work. I work at SECU and we had member appreciation day with our kid's mascot FAT CAT (my manager, haha) in attendance. Kyla brought Addison to see him and to eat lunch with Mommy. We had so much fun. She was intrigued with FAT CAT and wasn't scared of him until she saw him take his head off. She still didn't cry or scream but she ran up to me and held onto me for dear life. I held her and she refused to move at all in my arms, just clinged onto me. It was cute. As soon as he put to costume head back on she was fine and even was "calling" (here, kitty, kitty, kitty...) him to get his attention. Addison also decided that it was great fun to walk around from person to person begging them for "bips" (chips) and "tuk-dies" (cookies).

My Mom turned 50 last week and we had a small family dinner to celebrate then. What she didn't know was that my dad, sister and I were planning a surprise party for her for this past Saturday. Kyla and I were busy planning, buying and preparing food and decorations for the party and my mom couldn't figure out why we were hanging out so much and not cluing her in to what we were spending our time doing. I just knew that she would figure it out because she always figures things out early. But she ended up not having a clue about it and we really got her good! It was fun and I hope that she enjoyed it!

Later Saturday night we went to a friends house for an early Halloween costume party. First we went to Jordan's sister's house and put Addison to bed there. She only lives a few houses down from the party. Jordan went as Caesar complete with toga, wrist bands and headband and I was a black cat, although I think it looked a bit more like cat woman. I'm not really into costumes for adults (mostly because the woman's costumes are all so, so trashy and I'm not very creative to be able to come up with my own ideas) so I didn't have any old costumes laying around or any inclination to buy one so I wore dark jeans, tall, black boots, a black turtleneck then added a cat mask and tail. Yeah, it was kind of cheesy but I figure I can wear it again when we take Addison trick or treating because she's going to be a kitty cat (white and pink and super cute!). Also in attendance were a witch, a monk, a Scotsman (in a kilt), a policeman, Betty from the Flintstone's (adorable), a nerd girl, and my favorite, Russel and Walter from the movie UP!. They were so, so cute. The girl was Russel with the little boy scout uniform and backpack with balloons tied to it and her boyfriend was Walter with baby powered hair and walking stick with tennis balls on the ends. They just needed a big bird named Kevin and a golden retriever named Dug and they would have had the whole cast!

The party was fun! We ate and played games and watched funny you-tube videos. A few of my friends were there and we broke off from the party and were having some great girl talk. Right in the middle of laughing and having fun I kind of sarcastically joked something about how I should have been pregnant and had to have been dressed as a big pumpkin. I normally don't talk much about my miscarriage and I'm still not really sure why anything about it came out of my mouth but when it did, all of a sudden I was sobbing. I felt so bad for being a downer, but those girls, Kirby and Katie, were so sweet and supportive. They embraced me and talked to me and we all shared different struggles that we are all facing. I'm actually kind of glad that I had my mini-break-down because I obviously needed to get it off my chest right then. I also feel like it brought us closer. We have decided that we need to start having a "girl's day/night" at least once a month and the first one is scheduled for this weekend. I'm excited about it!

I feel fine most of the time even though I still think about losing the baby and not being pregnant a whole lot, I'm just not letting it consume me. I have so many positive things in my life and so many blessings to count from God. I know that no one expects me to "be over it" and I'm still grieving, but sometimes the grief just sneaks up on me. Friday was National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Day. So I was thinking about it even more than normal but didn't really make myself the time to process it. I was so busy and consumed in party planning and costuming and taking care of Addison that I didn't really let myself "go there". I also think I was trying to avoid it. I have such conflicted feelings because I want to be over it (although I know I never will be) but I also feel bad if I'm not thinking about it and still grieving. I think of the women and families that have lost babies multiple times or other family members that they really knew and loved and I feel that what they are going through has to be worse than what I'm going through. But I guess grief is what it is in any circumstance and maybe it's like sins. Although we want to see it that way, no one sin is any worse than another sin in God's eyes. As humans we like to add degrees to everything or turn it into a "good" to "bad" scale. Maybe it's to make more sense of things and add organization or maybe just to make ourselves feel better about things we have done... I don't know.

I'm rambling...again. This was supposed to be about the weekend and yet I've made it about grief, like I always end up doing. I really am doing much better and I'm happy.

Our weekend was a good one, even if I just laid around the house Sunday afternoon and got nothing better done than catching up on watching my DVRed shows. :) I have a huge pile of laundry to do, but that's okay!

*I have some pictures to add but I can't get it done at the moment so I may come back and update. Or I might just do a separate post... Stay tuned. :)*

Counting Blessings

2010-10-11T12:42:00.001-04:00

God is ABLE to do ABUNDANTLY, EXCEEDINGLY more than ALL you can ASK or IMAGINE. Ephesians 3:20

I'm counting my blessings right now. And I'm overwhelmed with how many there are to count. God has blessed Jordan and I so, so much and I'm trying my hardest to not take anything for granted. There are so many bad things that I could to choose to focus on, but I want to be optimistic instead of a downer. We have so many things that are changing and unstable and decisions to make that are being based on how other things turn out. I'm trying to not stress over things and take every new day as it comes at me.

Be anxious for NOTHING, but in EVERYTHING, by prayer and petition, with THANKSGIVING, present your requests to God. Phil 4:6

I've recently been reevaluating my walk with God and I'm seeing so many flaws on my end (and not surprisingly-none on HIS end. haha). I'm working at being more patient, less quick to judge, more compassionate and a better listener, among many, many more things. My prayer life is not where it needs to be, so I'm working on getting it back to where it once was and where it should be.

Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. I Thessalonians 5:16-18

I'm also working on reading the bible more. I thought about finding a devotional book to help me along with it, but that task alone seems daunting to me, so I figured the best way to get into God's word is to dive right in. I now get daily emails from one year bible online that gives me the link to an old testament passage, a new testament passage, and a little bit of Psalms and Proverbs each day. I like that set up because you get a little bit of easy-to-read with the harder-to-read.

I'm not telling you this to brag, but to help me to be accountable. I'm also hoping to encourage others to join in and re-evaluate your own walk with God.

Also, please be in prayer for my sister, Kyla. She's one of the reasons I'm trying to do better and make wiser decisions. She has recently made some major changes in her life and is striving to do good and follow God. It's been a rough transition for her and is not made easier by the fact that she has bi-polar mood disorder. This means she struggles with depression and manias and making out-of-character decisions. Kyla has made such a courageous change in her life. It's never easy to cut out things that you enjoy or that give you immediate gratification, even when you know they are wrong. I'm praying for her to be at peace with her decisions and accept that she may always have to struggle with her mood disorder. I'm praying for her to be able to let go of the guilt that she feels and know that God has 100% forgiven her. I'm praying for guidance as I talk to her and help her move along with her life.

Happy Monday!

Our Weekend (Including Pictures-Gasp!)

2010-09-26T19:57:00.009-04:00

This weekend was busy at the Cline house!

On Friday, Jordan and I tried out a new Japanese place that had just opened right by our house. It was good food, but a little pricey and a super long wait. Poor Addison was getting so tired and she was ready for her food. She did well considering we didn't leave the restaurant until almost 8:30.

Saturday was CRAZY!! We planned on being at the car lot most of the day to get things organized and work with the new computer system that we just got. We got there at 8:30 with Addison in tow. To say that we were busy all day (or all last week) would be an understatement. Since Tuesday we've bought 7 cars from dealer auctions (in addition to the ones we already had), sold 5 and taken in 2 trade-ins. Most of that was done on Saturday while we were trying to get everything added and taken off the inventory for the computers! Addison was so, so good and took a nap in the back room (of our tiny, open office) while we were selling a car in the main room. We finished up around 5, so I ended up working my normal hours on my day off. There's no hourly paycheck but hopefully after a while everything's going to pay off. It's really an exciting time and it helps that we have a lot of fun and enjoy being with our friends/business partners.

After we finished up at the car lot, Jordan dropped off Addison at her Nana and Papaw's house to spend the night. We had a few hours to get ready to go out on a double date with some friends. We didn't start the date until almost 8:30 and after dinner and bowling, we didn't get home until after midnight. Needless to say, I was exhausted!

Sunday was much more relaxed. Addison came back home to us at 8 and we played and napped until church. She was such a good girl and kept saying "Baaaybeee" because we sat behind some friends who have a 4 month old little boy.

Here she is Sunday afternoon before dinner.

I loved her little outfit! People at church kept calling her Pippy Longstockings because of the tights. Such a cutie!

This is after she saw me with the camera and came running over to it. Little Ham! She wanted to sit in my lap because I had the camera, so I gave the camera to Jordan so he could take a picture of us. Well then Addison wanted to sit in Jordan's lap since he now held the camera.

So we went back and forth taking pictures of each other with Little Miss Thing!

(Please ignore my crazy hair! I'd been cleaning and cooking all afternoon.)

We enjoyed our weekend with Addison (as I always do!). Now ready for a busy week with (hopefully) lots of cars being sold!

Post I Can't Seem to Finish

2010-09-20T20:57:00.000-04:00

I don't know all the different places/directions this post is going to go, but I'm sure it won't be organized. I've been working on this post for the past 2 weeks and just can't seem to finish it...

It's been a while since my last post. I don't have any good excuse for not writing besides not having time or just not feeling it. I do feel like I'm in a better place than I was a couple weeks ago. I'm still healing and grieving but I'm not consumed by loss and sadness anymore. I have moments that I'm really sad and let my mind wander, thinking of all the things I should be preparing for and worrying over. I still think of things that I was going to have to do before February when the baby came but then I catch myself and those thoughts are immediately replaced by emptiness and slight bitterness. I'm not angry at God and I have accepted my situation, but that doesn't mean that I don't still feel disappointed and frustrated. I've been in the middle of conversations with friends, talking about babies or the second child or future plans and I have to really think before I say things. I was in the mindset of having another baby in February for almost four months and its hard to just make my preset thoughts change overnight. I know I've had a month to adjust but things still hop into my head at any given moment. I'm still feeling the sting at times.

I've been thinking about timing of when to plan for another baby. It still really stresses me out. Although my last pregnancy was not 100% planned (it was 100% wanted) and caught us a bit by surprise, I was very content with the spacing God was giving us between children. Now, after I had decided that 21 months was going to be a wonderful age difference between Addison and Baby #2 and that it was exactly what I wanted, I have to accept that that is no longer in God's plan for our family. I still would like to have our kids close in age. That leads me to trying to decided weather I can handle the stress and worry that I know would come with being pregnant again right now or wait a little while. I also have the added stress of paying for the miscarriage and D&C (which from the Insurance explanation of benefits, looks like its going to be nearly as much as having Addison. lovely. It costs as much to have a tiny baby taken from you as it does to birth a healthy, full-term baby) and wondering how long that will take to pay that off before we'll have more hospital bills with the cost of having another baby... The financial aspect doesn't bother me as much as the emotional horrors that await me when I'm pregnant again (It will be a long, stressful, worrisome 40 weeks when it happens). Jordan is more caught up on the financial side. It's a lot to think about. I'm praying for guidance.

On to lighter things. (I really didn't mean for this to be a downer post. And I really do feel better overall but there is not a moment that goes by that I'm not thinking about it in some aspect.) So I think I might have caught the Pandora bug. No, I'm not getting sick. For those of you that don't know what Pandora is (first, go to website and browse) it is a brand of jewelry. What I am particularly interested in is the bracelets with beautiful, interchangeable beads. They can be quite expensive, if you buy them new from jewelry stores. That's why I am looking on Ebay! I'm not really all that concerned about having the "real" thing and I'm okay with the cheaper options that are available. I can see this turning into something that will be time consuming. I'll have my co-worker, Sonya to thank for that. :)

Addison has been such a mess! She has a huge personality and really is starting (or continuing, rather) to talk a lot. She calls me Momma and sometimes Mommy (although normally when I'm trying to get her to say Mommy, she say Yummy-she is a total food-oriented baby!). She calls Tripp "Bip" so we'll hear her saying "NO, NO, Bip!!" She's starting to say GranDee and Grandpa. She still says Dadda (occasionally Daddy), Nana, and Pawpaw (for my dad and Jordan's dad). She's also started to say Ellett ("Ay-Yett") and tells him to come on (Ellett is her 10 month old cousin that Gena keeps also. They are together 3 out of 5 days per week). It's really cute to hear her try to imitate what we say. We laugh at her and she just grins so big and is so proud of herself. One of my favorite parts of the day is when I'm driving Addison home after picking her up in the evenings. We talk and sing and make faces at each other in the car (in the mirror-don't worry, I'm a very careful driver). I just love seeing that little face crinkle into a grin and hearing that adorable little voice sing along with the songs I'm singing, especially after I've been away from her at work all day. We enjoy going on walks in the evenings with Daddy and "Bip". We have a great, shadowy area to walk near our house and try to take advantage of the slightly cooler weather right before the sun goes down. Addison just chills back in her stroller and takes everything in. I'm so glad that she likes to ride in her stroller.

We've been staying pretty busy and its been fun. I mentioned in an earlier post that we now have a car lot. That has taken lots of time, but its been fun because we both enjoy spending time with our business partners, Kirby and Dustin. Kirby works with Jordan and we've been friends with her and her family for several years now. They have two boys, Banyon-4 yrs and Sylas-2 yrs (They are 20 months apart. It was neat for me to see kids at almost the same age difference ours were going to be.) The boys and Addison play pretty good together. Addison and Sylas are almost exactly one year apart and they don't always know how and when to share things. Banyon is definitely the older sibling and likes to be in charge. They have had to play and keep each other occupied while we try to figure out all of the in's and out's of selling cars. We've already sold several, too quickly to keep anything on the lot. It's really exciting to be involved with the starting of a business, especially when it has a lot of potential to do well (we think it does, anyway!). Our official name is Pay Here Auto Sales. We chose that to highlight the fact that we will finance cars if you don't have the cash on hand to buy it. I won't bore you with all of the details, but it's definitely been a learning experience. There are a ton of papers that have to be filled out (and notarized) (and all done exactly the way the DMV wants it) and it was certainly intimating for the first sale. It's been fun so far!

I guess that's all I have in me right now. Hopefully I'll be back before next month (and with some more interesting happenings).

Big Sister

2010-09-01T09:10:00.008-04:00

Yesterday Gena told me how much of a helper Addison is turning into. She likes to bring Ellett things when her Nana asks her to. It's really hard for me to see how good she is with Ellett and how loving she is with her baby dolls. All I can think about is how good of a big sister she would've made in just 5 months. I can also see that she gets jealous of Ellett, too. I know that she'll be a good big sister when the time comes, but I was so worried about how she would be at only 21 months as an older sibling. Now I can see her comprehending things, following directions and helping out when asked and I just wish that things had panned out differently and that our family was going to be spaced out as I had thought it was.

I still want to have our children be close in age. That leads me to having to deal with the question of when. When will we try again? I don't know the answer to that. I think that we aren't going to start trying right away. I feel like that would be stressful and that I need a break for a while from thinking about pregnancy related things. Not that I don't want to hear about other people's pregnancies or babies. I can deal with that and I don't want people to shy away from the topic because they don't want to hurt my broken heart more. Really, it's okay. I just don't want to think about myself being pregnant for a while. Several months at least. We'll just wait and see what God holds for our future.

I came across Addison's "big sister" shirt that I bought for her a few months ago. It's a long sleeved 2T and I keep thinking that she might not be able to wear it whenever the time comes. I'm thinking of getting a memory box to put all of the cards and pregnancy related things in. I keep thinking of different things that I want to put in a place to keep but get out of my sight for a while. I don't want to throw things away but I also don't want to be looking at them all the time. Things like my ultrasound pictures from my 8 week appointment, all the cards and messages people have given me, the miscarriage pamphlet from the hospital. Now Addison's Big Sister shirt may go in it too. I've been thinking of calling it my "heartbreak box." Too sad? I don't know... maybe I'll call it something else.

I feel like all I do is ramble and wallow in all my posts. I'm certainly not trying to have myself a great big pity party. This blog has just happened to become my outlet for getting some emotions out that I wouldn't necessarily express to anyone in person for fear of breaking down. If I get upset and start crying while typing a post then I can just stop and do something else, but a conversation with someone is a little different. I also have a hard time expressing how I feel when talking, so as I type, I get a chance to think about how to word things and how to get across what I'm really trying to. It's like my therapy right now. So just bear with me and I'm sure I'll get back to some happier thoughts soon (or maybe not too soon, but in time).

Lost

2010-08-31T22:43:00.002-04:00

Lost...that's about how I'm feeling right now. I feel so alone and secluded at times even though I'm surrounded by people.

I went back to work yesterday. It went okay. I didn't break down and I made it through the whole day. I thought I was going to have to leave to go to the doctor when I started having some new side effects from my surgery that I was slightly alarmed by. (Reader's Beware: female symptoms about to be discussed). I had been cramping all day but during lunches it started getting really intense and quite painful. I stood up and realized that I'd started bleeding as well (which I was NOT prepared for and had to have one of my co-workers bring me a pair of pants to borrow. I felt like I was in middle school and having my period for the first time and not being prepared. I think a word like humiliated would suit the situation). Both of these are common after a D&C but I hadn't been having either one since the day after. I called the nurse from my OB/GYN doctor's office and she told me to monitor everything throughout the afternoon and over night. I was feeling better this morning but still experiencing some pain so I called back (as instructed). I was once again told to monitor and if it was still going on to come in to be seen by the doctor this afternoon.

So I went to work this morning. I was not feeling well but emotionally I was okay. I had a few moments where I just stared off into nothing but snapped out of it before the tears started flowing. This afternoon I called back to talk to the nurse and got an appointment to see Dr. Lipscomb. I knew it was going to be hard on me, emotionally, to go back to the last place that I experienced "normal"; the place that my world was shattered in front of my eyes. Trouble started as I checked in. The receptionist was trying to figure out if I needed to pay my co-payment or not then said "Oh. You're an OB patient aren't you?" (OB patient is what you are referred to as when you are pregnant and you see the Obstetrician. If you are at the woman doctor for other issues you are seeing the Gynecologist...even though they are both the same doctor. Make sense? yeah, not really to me either.) I didn't really answer because the only thing I could think of was that I should still be an OB patient and that I wish that I still had a healthy baby growing inside me instead of having to have a dead baby sucked out of me. Then she couldn't really figure it out so she asked me what I was being seen for. So I had to tell her that I was having some issues following a D&C from a miscarriage. I wasn't mad at her because she wasn't out of line in any way but it was hard for me to go through everything when I was already nervous and slightly testy/moody.

I sat in the waiting room and then was called back by a couple of women that I didn't recognize as being nurses. I felt a bit bombarded by the lab-techs that called me because as soon as I was near them one told me that I was having blood work done, then going for an ultrasound and then back to see the doctor, oh and that she liked my shirt. Then, while I'm still processing all of this brand new information, they are trying to have fast-paced small talk and chit-chat about my shirt with me. I couldn't keep up, not that I was interested or cared. I'm not even sure I could tell you what shirt I had on. I guess just being there and in some pain was overwhelming me and I was extra emotional. I was very out-of-it and I'm sure I was full of blank stares that some found rude.

The ultrasound was just as awkward and confusing for me. Not that I was confused at what was happening but that I kept missing what I was supposed to be doing. I walked into the room and was expecting to pull up my shirt to have have the gel on my belly. Don't know why that's what I expected...I should have know that it would have to be trans-vaginal. So I stood there waiting on the ultrasound tech to tell me to hop up onto the table while she stood there waiting for me to go strip down in the little bathroom. As i laid on the little bed, I kept thinking of the last ultrasound that I had and the devastating result of that. I closed my eyes and tried to drift off during most of it. Anyway not a good experience.

My doctor was super nice as always and very good about explaining things to me and didn't make me feel like I was an inconvenience or being stupidly cautious over nothing. He took my concerns seriously, hence the blood work and the ultrasound. Fortunately he didn't think that there was any kind of complication and the ultrasound showed that there wasn't anything remaining in my uterus that shouldn't be there from the pregnancy. In fact the phrase used was, "the content of my uterus is empty." Empty. That's right. I'm empty. I know what empty feels like, that's what my problem is. I'm obviously internalizing his words and I know that he meant that my uterus is empty of anything that might be harming me. Anyway, after his examination Dr. Lipscomb felt that I might be getting an infection as a result of the surgery. So I'm currently taking an antibiotic twice a day as well as a medication that will make my uterus contract itself back down to a normal size (it's apparently still enlarged from the pregnancy). I'll take this every 6 hours for 24 hours. It will cause more cramping and a need to take 4 ibuprofen every six hours as well. Lovely. I hate taking medicine, but it seems that I'll be taking it for the next week at least.

When I checked out, I went to the same lady that checked me in. She asked if I needed to schedule another appointment and I told her that I already have one scheduled. She wanted to check it in her computer, but then got confused. I had to explain to her that I originally had an ultrasound (18 week, gender-revealing) scheduled for next Thursday which was cancelled (for obvious reasons) and a new post-op appointment was already set up for Wednesday. She then saw everything clearly and verified the date and time of my follow-up. By this point, I was nearly in tears and just wanted leave. I pretty much cried the whole way home, feeling emotionally drained and on the verge of tears for most of the evening (all, of course, while dealing with intense cramping). I've calmed down a lot but, honestly, I could still cry right now.

So overall my day was awful. I'm nervous about my pain level with the medication that I'm taking. I really don't want to have to miss yet another day of work so I'm hoping to be strong and make it through. I'm praying for strength, physically, but mainly emotionally. Going back to work has not been easy, but it's gone smoothly for the most part.

I'm not questioning God with "why?" and I've accepted that I lost my baby. I know that I'm young and shouldn't have any trouble getting pregnant again when we want to. I know that everything will work out and that God will give me the strength to move past this. But that doesn't make what I'm feeling any easier. At moments I feel fine and like I'm making progress but it seems like that is always followed by what seems like set-backs and break-downs. I know its normal. The pragmatist in me knows all of this. But the emotional side of me can't really accept it or process it or deal with. I don't really know how to explain it. I'm sure if you've ever experienced anything similar you can understand what I'm trying to express. If you haven't, I pray that you don't ever understand what I'm saying.

Lost...but searching through the darkness for my Way.

Not much

2010-08-29T17:58:00.000-04:00

I always say I don't have much to blog about and then end up with a really long post (normally full of nothing-ness) so we'll see on this one. The past few days have been really tough still. I'm trying to move on and get back into some type of normalcy but it's so hard to be normal when I don't feel that way at all.

I've had a few incidents with people (some I know, some I don't) that have caused me to be uncomfortable or weepy. While on a walk yesterday morning, Addison and I passed an older woman in our neighborhood (whom I'd never met) and started a conversation with me about Addison. We talked for just a minute then started to walk again and as we were walking away from one another she turned back and said "Know you are blessed to have a child." I looked and her and smiled and thanked her. Then I turned back around and sobbed my way back home. I kept thinking that the response that statement would be "yes ma'am, more than you know." I certainly didn't take any offense to her words, but it did make me very emotional.

I've managed to make it to Walmart and a few other places and although I wouldn't say the trips went well, they weren't too terribly traumatic. The first trip just completely overwhelmed me to be around so many familiar people even though I didn't really have to face any real conversations. As soon as we got home I basically ran into the bedroom, threw myself onto to bed and sobbed. It's strange, not that I do it but when, because I can't really tell you any specific thing that causes me to break down (I feel like I'm repeating myself from another post here).

Anyway, the second trip to Walmart was last night with my friend Kirby. We had to get some stuff for the office (our new car dealership that we're opening...oh I haven't mentioned that Jordan got his dealer's license, started a corporation in which I am one of the four officers and that we will have a used car dealership? In another time and post I'll get to that) and I was doing pretty good. I had a task and was (almost) staying focused on it. We got up to the checkout line and went to one of the cashiers that I know there (which doesn't say much because I know most of them). She's very sweet and always asks me about Addison. Well I was putting things in the cart and she started talking to me so I turned around to face her. Our conversation went like this:

Cashier: "I heard some good news..." smile.

me: Blank stare. Very confused. "What?"

Cashier: repeat, "I heard some good news. Congratulations!"

me: still blank stare and very confused look. "oh."

and I turned back to Addison (who thankfully was starting to fuss and cause I great way out of the conversation). I was in a small state of disbelief. I don't really remember if I said goodbye or anything else to her. I wasn't mad at her, but just so stunned. I didn't know until we got back into the car that the cashier had been trying to talk to me some more but I honestly didn't hear her. Kirby said that she kept trying to congratulate me again until Kirby had to fill her in with a whispered "She lost the baby." I'm very glad that I wasn't in that situation by myself because I don't know how I'd have handled it. I've been preparing myself to hear people ask me about how my pregnancy was going but not to hear congratulations. We've been telling people for 12 weeks that I was pregnant (since week 4) so I thought everyone already knew.

I still have not been sleeping. Well until last night, that is. All Doctors out there that might be reading this, you might need to skip this next part. I took one of Jordan's anxiety pills last night. And I slept great. But I think it made me stay a little extra sleepy and out of it this morning. I kept trying to get up and going but couldn't really wake up until about 11:45 so we didn't make it to church. I think Satan was causing me to have some extra anxiety about being around everyone. I know that sounds ridiculous since my church family is going to be one of the most supportive crowds I could be around, but I think it was the crowd part that was getting to me. I'll get there eventually. Hopefully soon.

My plan is to go back to work tomorrow. My bosses have been so great about making sure that I know I can take as much time as I need, but I feel like I should try to get back into a routine. I guess we'll see how tonight and tomorrow morning go. I hope that I'll be okay throughout the day, but I know until I try it.

And once again, I'd like to say yet another, huge "Thank you" to all of you for your love, support and prayers. I love you all!

What I've been doing

2010-08-27T11:02:00.002-04:00

I'm going to try to make this post a bit easier to follow than the last all-over-the-place post.

I have been spending lots a of time with my two favorite people in the world, Jordan and Addison.

Wednesday I ran some errands with Jordan because I didn't want to stay at home by myself, and that after noon I had to take Addison to the doctor for her 15 month well baby visit. My mom with us since Jordan had a prior commitment. Addison is perfect and healthy, right on track developmentally. 50th percentile for her height and weight and 80th for her big, smart head. Only vice: she is still taking a bottle. We're working on it.

Jordan's work has been so incredibly understanding about him needing to take time off to spend with me. He was already off for Wednesday, then went to work on Thursday but left at lunch to time to spend the rest of the day with me. I was okay being at home alone only because Addison keeps me so busy and when she naps, I've been throwing myself into housework. I would just sleep or veg out in front of the TV, but sleep does not come easy right now and being still leaves me with lots of thoughts that I don't always want to process.

So although I was okay at home, it was nice for Jordan to be with me yesterday. We ended up going with my Mom to my Aunt's pool to swim. We just stayed there and relaxed by the pool and let Addison play for a few hours. We left when she started getting sleepy and ready for her nap.

Jordan and I had been planning to go to Carrabba's for my birthday dinner. We all know that didn't go as planned but we were able to go last night. Addison went to sleep for her nap at my Mom's house, so we left her there (since Mom graciously offered to keep her for us for the evening)and went home and got showers before going out. I was having a really hard time during that time period and I'm not sure why. Could be because the last time we went to Carrabba's was just a few weeks ago and I was happy and pregnant. Or because I couldn't decide what to wear because I wanted to look nice, but I still have this little "Is she pregnant or not" gut and I really didn't want to look chubby or pregnant. I was going through different shirts and kept coming across different maternity clothes that I had been starting to wear. I was suddenly overcome with the urge to get them out of my sight and out of my wardrobe. So I found every thing I could that was maternity and bagged them up to go back to whoever it had been borrowed from or threw it in the huge bin I have for maternity clothes (which I promptly put in the back of my closet). I was planning on washing everything first, but I just couldn't deal with looking at them any more so some things didn't get washed after I wore them. As I was going through all of these motions, (taking a shower, throwing a load of laundry in the washer, cleaning out pregnancy clothes, blow drying my hair and getting ready to leave) I was just tearful and crying and mad and grumpy. Jordan couldn't figure out what had hit me since I seemed to have been fine all day, and honestly I couldn't really tell you exactly what brought on the change either. I guess that's just how it is right now.

Anyway we went to dinner and it was amazingly good. I haven't had much of an appetite so I wasn't sure how dinner would go, but let's just say that I didn't have any trouble eating Carrabba's delicious food. We left Carrabba's and went to the mall. I ended up being in a really good mood most of the time. I did start to go numb as I thought about finding a picture frame for the ultrasound pictures (from 8 weeks). (I found one that said "Love at first sight" but it was really ugly colors, so I think I'll either paint one or have one engraved with that. I definitely want something along those lines to memorialize the Baby.) But I was able to move past it and not ruin the evening.

We picked up Addison, came home, put baby girl to bed (with no bottle-milestone) and watched a movie (Primal Fear-good but horribly bad language). When the movie went off at 11, I was really tired but couldn't face going to bed and laying there with only my thoughts. I stayed up and started the last blog post, couldn't keep my thoughts organized (you noticed? really?) then finally made myself go to bed after 1. It probably took me an hour to go to sleep, during which I thought I was going to have a panic attack. I started getting really anxious and couldn't breathe well. So I laid there and just started praying and it passed nearly as quickly as it came on.

Now Addison is napping and I've been doing laundry (I'm actually start to run out of things to wash. I'll have to start looking for a new area of housework to stay busy with now). I've got a very loose plan formed for this afternoon and it actually involves getting out and seeing people. I may end up backing out, but I need to try, I think.

Tonight our friends Chuck, LeeAnn and Salem are bringing us dinner. I think it will be nice to be around them and hang out some. They have been through a similar situation so we'll have that comfort of knowing they can relate and understand some.

So I'm hanging in here and having good moments mixed in with the bad. Keep praying.

How do I say Thank You?

2010-08-26T22:40:00.008-04:00

I don't really know what I'm going to say tonight. It's been a tough few days, full of ups and downs, emotions and hormones, and a lot of "I just don't know"s. I've been completely overwhelmed by the response of people reaching out to us. We've had so many phone calls, flowers, cards, emails, FB messages, texts, prayers,visitors, food sent...I just don't know how to express my gratitude to everyone. There has been such an outpouring of love and support that I cannot even fully process right now. I've also been overwhelmed with the response of so many women who have brought their similar stories of loss to me. I don't really have a word to describe how this makes me feel. It's sad to hear of others who have been here but its a slight comfort (not the right word here, but what is??) to know that I can talk to these brave women when I feel ready. I think we are linked through our grief.

A few people who are close to me have said that I'm doing well and handling everything well, but I think I must just be able to mask things well. I have moments where I am fine, but in private I have great anxiety about seeing people and talking about it and about not responding after being reached out to. I feel bad about not saying "Thank You" quickly enough or not having much of anything at all to say. I so appreciate everything, but I just can't cope with all of the emotions I'm feeling right now. I have all of these thoughts in my head and I just can't really turn them into words right now. I feel like I won't get through the first sentence of most conversations without sobbing. But time and God will heal... I'm waiting on it to come...

These days I lose it in the drop of a hat and can cry at just about anything if it hits me the wrong way. Jordan is probably the only one who has seen me be fine and then breakdown, then fine, then breakdown, etc., etc. I think I get lost in thought sometimes and just have a glazed over look. Normally this is what happens right before I start crying again. If I'm feeling pretty good and start to enjoy myself, I start to feel guilty. I know that I'm healing and in the moving-on process but it's hard to know just how to act or what to do. I don't want to stay at home all day, coped up in the house just because I'm scared to death of interacting with people but I have so, so much anxiety over being in a public place, alone, and surrounded by people who know me and the situation. I feel comforted in the anonymity of being around people that don't know me. If I'm around someone who knows then I have to talk about things and I feel the weight of unspoken expectations. This is all in theory, of course, since I haven't really put myself in a situation like this because I obviously have irrational fears. I'm working on it. Maybe tomorrow I'll get out and talk to people other than family.

Anyway, the whole point of this post wasn't to tell everyone that I'm avoiding them right now (which isn't really how it is but it probably seems that way...), but to say a huge Thank You! I seem to have completely messed up in getting that across... But really I so, so appreciate every little thing that has been done for us. I treasure every message and card that I've received (I'm planning on printing everything out and keeping a book of cards and sweet messages of support). Just knowing how many prayers are going up on our behalf is a huge comfort. I'm thanking God everyday to have to wonderful support and love that He's given us.

All that to say: THANKS!!!

Now I know

2010-08-24T23:50:00.004-04:00

Now I know why I wasn't gaining any more weight for the past three weeks.

Now I know why I wasn't feeling very hungry or nauseous recently.

Now I know why I felt so good, without many symptoms at all.

Now I know why I wasn't so emotional as most pregnant women are.

Now I know what it's like to experience an unexplained loss.

Now I know what miscarriage is.

I lost my baby. Today I went to the doctor for my regular check up. I was so excited and very much looking forward to being able to hear the baby's heartbeat on my birthday. After waiting in the lobby, seeing the nurse and answering a few routine questions, Dr. Miyazaki tried to locate the heartbeat with the doppler thing that they use. After 5 minutes of him of hearing nothing but static, sweaks, and my heartbeat he said I needed to have a scan done. As I was laying there and looking a the ceiling I felt an awful, sinking feeling and started pleading with God that the baby was okay and just in a funny position. I had to wait in a little sitting cubby for a few minutes before the ultrasound tech could see me. They were playing Christian music on the loudspeaker but all I could hear was the loud beating heart of a healthy baby that was also being proudly advertised over the speakers.

The sweet ultrasound tech came and got me and I held my breath as she put the slimy wand on my belly. Immediately my sweet, beautiful baby came up on the monitor but there was no flickering that should've been present. I knew. She looked for a few more seconds before gently rubbing my thigh and saying softly that "It doesn't look good. There's no heartbeat." I just started crying and she was so, so sweet about it. She said she had to look over some things and get some measurements but asked if I wanted to monitor left on or off. I composed myself for the most part and decided to watch as she looked over my baby, since that was the most I'd ever get to see of it. I called Jordan and told him to come to the doctor's office and before I could tell him he asked if we lost the baby. At that point I was crying again and feeling so alone. They took me back into the little sitting area (back to the loud thump of a healthy baby's striving heart) and I waited on Jordan to come and grieve with me. When Dr. Miyazaki came back over to me he embraced me in a such an understanding hug and said he was so, so sorry.

Jordan came in the room that they moved me into and we both lost it for a few minutes. Dr. Miyazaki went over some things with us and said that the baby had stopped living and growing when it was at 13 w 4 d. He stressed over and over again that when miscarriages happen after 12 weeks it's about a 90% chance that it is due to a chromosomal abnormality and that it was nothing that I'd done. He said the the baby had some kind of growth (or pocket of fluid, not really sure) on the back of it's head and neck and that was a huge indicator of something genetically not lining up. It had a name but I don't remember what it was. He went over the procedure that I would have to have done to remove the baby from my uterus. A D&C, Dilation and Curettage. This is where the cervix is dilated and the contents of the uterus are removed via suction curettage. It's commonly performed following miscarriage in cases where the uterus fails to empty its content, as mine did. (It's also what is commonly performed for abortions in the first trimester, but I'm trying to block that from my memory.)

I went to the hospital where I was taken back to a pre-op room in GYN Surgery. Dr. Lipscomb was in the OR today so he preformed my D&C. He is also the same doctor that delivered Addison (the irony did not escape me). He was also very kind and understanding and also stressed that this did not happen due to anything that I had done. He also assured me that he didn't think I'd have any trouble getting pregnant or having a healthy baby in the future, since he knew my body had done it before. They don't think that it was because of any genetic defects that Jordan and I have together. We could pay to have the tissue sent off for testing but because the baby had already been dead for a few weeks it's doubtful that there would be any viable tissue to analyze.

I had a spinal block to numb me from the waist down and I was given medicine to somewhat sedate me and keep from remembering being in the OR. It worked because I think I slept through the whole thing (which only lasted less than an hour). The sweet anesthesia nurse let me listen to her i-pod which I only vaguely remember was playing contemporary Christian music. I had to wait about 2 hours for my legs to be able to hold me up and allow me to walk before I could leave to come home.

I rode home with Mom while Jordan and Dad went to get Jordan's truck and pick up food. Mom and I had to pick up my happy girl from her Nana and Papaw's. It was wonderful to see her and hear her precious voice saying "Mama". When we got home, my sister, Kyla, had washed all my dishes and cleaned up the kitchen and Jordan was arranging a beautiful bouquet of pink roses that he bought for me. He's been so great through all of this, but is full of grief too.

I had no indication that there was a problem with the baby except for a lack of symptoms which I assumed just meant that I was having a good uneventful pregnancy. I had no bleeding or discharge that would lead me to believe that the baby had died. When I am ever pregnant again in the future, I'm going to be a nervous wreck if I feel good. I knew I was pregnant during every passing minute with Addison because I felt pregnant, even before I was showing. This time, I had even made the comment the I didn't feel pregnant because I felt so good. Now, I know that I wasn't.

I've had an amazing amount of love and support from so many wonderful people and I am so thankful that God put them in my life. How people without faith get through tragedies like this is beyond me. I wouldn't have to strength without God giving it to me or giving me people to lift me up.

I cannot imagine how much more tough this would be if this had been my first pregnancy. I wouldn't have my beautiful girl to cheer me up and make my laugh. I wouldn't have the peace of mind that comes with knowing that I can have healthy babies.

Now I know what's its like to be awake at 2 AM, mourning over one baby but rejoicing in another one who is sound asleep in her crib.

Now I know how much pain and grief you feel after losing a baby that I never even got to meet.

Now I know that my baby is heaven and will never feel the pain of this world.

Now I know how it feels to enter the hospital carrying a baby and leave the hospital empty handed.

Now I know what is feels like to be empty inside.

**THANK YOU to everyone who has shown such love and support to Jordan and I. We know you're praying and it's carrying us through.**

Not Much. Just a Butterfly Kiss

2010-08-19T13:46:00.007-04:00

**Be sure to look back at Addison's 15 month post and my 15 week pregnancy highlights post. I've added some super cute pictures (well the ones of Addison are really cute...mine, not so much).

Addison is so silly! We were eating taco salad last night and Addison was dying to have some of the taco meat. She was begging and whining for it while it was cooking and so as soon as we got her in her highchair and the meat was cool enough we gave her some. She gobbled it up! I was surprised that she liked the seasoned meat but she ate about as much as I did (or so I thought... until I got her out of her highchair and found a ton of meat down in the seat. Tripp enjoyed cleaning her seat out last night :) )

We've been in the process of trading/selling cars lately and I have been stressing over what I'm going to be driving. I think we have finally settled down and I'll sign papers on it tomorrow. So my car will be a 2007 Acura TSX. It's a small somewhat sporty sedan that I can easily park but with enough room for the kiddos in the back seat. I'm pretty excited about it, mainly about knowing what I'm going to be driving on a day-to-day basis. My co-workers laugh about it because they never know what car I'm going to be driving from one day to the next. Hopefully it will settle down and I'll keep this one for a while. We'll see...

This is completely random but funny. A few weeks ago I was talking to Jordan and telling him that I was going to try to teach Addison how to give Eskimo kisses (the one where you rub noses) and hummingbird kisses. Jordan just looked at me with this weird look on his face, so I went on to explain. "You know, the kisses where you flutter your eyelashes on the other person's cheek. A hummingbird kiss." He's still looking at me and says that he knows what I'm talking about but don't I mean a BUTTERFLY kiss.

Yeah, I don't know where hummingbird came from but that's what was in my head I guess. I mean there's even a song named BUTTERFLY KISSES. I'm going to blame it on pregnancy.

Pregnancy Highlights Week 15

2010-08-17T10:56:00.011-04:00

(I've decided that my butt is growing more than my belly... ha, ha!)

How Far Along: 15 Weeks

Size of Baby: Baby now measures about 4 inches long, crown to rump, and weighs in at about 2 1/2 ounces (about the size of an apple or naval orange).

Total Weight Gain/Loss: I'm still lingering around the 8 to 9 lb mark.

Maternity Clothes: I'm wearing a few here and there, but mainly still my regular clothes. (I'm moving back into the next size up in pants from what I was wearing when I got pregnant. I'm just glad that I have a large variety of sizes in my closet now.)

Gender: Not much longer wait...just 3 more weeks

Movement: I'm feeling little flutters but not regularly. I feel them more at night when I'm laying on the couch after Addison's in bed.

Cravings: Can't really think of anything but I do like to eat. Oh wait, I was just talking about wanting spicy stuff to one of my co-workers, so I guess that's my current craving. Not doing much for my first symptom listed below...

What I miss: Not much of anything I guess. I'm feeling pretty good for the most part.

Sleep: I haven't been sleeping as well lately. I don't have to pee in the middle of the night (most nights) but I seem to be waking up and then tossing and turning for several hours before I can go back to sleep.

Symptoms: I'm starting to feel some heartburn. I'm not feeling as tired/run-down all the time. I guess 2nd trimester energy has come back to me. I have a little bit of lower back pain and some neck pain. That could just be a result of the way I'm sleeping (or rather not sleeping). Not sure.

Best Moment this week: Spending time with family and friends. And getting some of my energy back.

What I'm Looking Forward to: Hearing Baby's heartbeat at my doctor's appointment next Tuesday (on my birthday! What a special gift!!).

Today marks Addison's 15 month birthday and I am 15 weeks pregnant. Thought that was a neat coincident!

Addison is 15 months old!

2010-08-17T10:09:00.002-04:00

My baby is growing up way too fast! I cannot believe that she is 15 months old!

* She is such a smart girl (yes, this is coming from her biased Mommy). She can say several words such as, ball, dog, kitty, mama, dada, nana, night night, papaw, nona (for Gena's friend Donna) byebye, bottle (ba ba), that (as she's pointing at something), me (to get our attention normally when she wants more food) and other random things that I'm forgetting about. Addison can also do the signs for fish, eat, more, and sometimes please. The eat, more, and please she all uses in reference to food. My child likes to eat.
* Some of Addison's favorite foods are pizza, any fruit (grapes, strawberries, peaches, watermelon, blueberries), raisins or craisins, oatmeal, grits, cream-of-wheat, buttered toast, pasta (sometimes), puffs, yogurt, any kind of bread, cucumbers and sometimes pickles, any kind of cookie or ice cream and meat. The girl loves chicken and hamburgers or steak. She is a great eater. I only wish that I could get her to eat more veggies but she just doesn't seem to like them at all.
*Addison loves to walk and run around. She is always on the go if she can help it. She is a quiet explorer, always looking in cabinets and drawers. She is trying so hard to climb up on to the couch but she can't quite get up there on her own. One of her favorite activities is to put things in and out of other things. She has a toy that you can drop a ball in it and the ball rolls out of a hole at the bottom and she loves to play with that. There is a certain cabinet in the kitchen that is Addison's secret hiding spot for whatever she's carrying around with her. We have found (or seen her put in it) Jordan's car and work keys, her finger nail polish that I use on her toenails and tons of random toys. She also likes to play with her "little people" sets.
* Addison loves baby dolls. She'll hug and kiss them when prompted and has even started holding them like a little baby (or sometimes in a choke hold). If she hears a baby crying she makes her "o" surprise face and looks around for them. When she spots the crying baby (or any baby) she'll point and them and try to get to them. I can't wait to see how she'll be around her little brother or sister. I think she'll be a good big sister. :)*Addison still entertains us with her many animal sounds and we love it! She's started making a fish face that accompanies the sign that she does and she also scrunches her nose up for a rabbit. She also bounces up and down for her favorite: the horsey! We regularly hear woof, woof; meow, meow; bak, bak; duck, duck; buzzz (with hand motion); lulalulalul (with her tongue for turkey); and Mmmm(for cow). She has an animal book which she flips through and does the noises for the animal she's looking at, but normally just finds the horse and carries it around on the horse page.*Addison is such a sweet little girl. She loves to give kisses, blow kisses, wave and say "bye bye" and smile. My favorite time of day is when I put Addison to bed (and not because I'm "getting rid" of her for the day). After she finishes her bottle, we sit together and smile/make faces at each other, laugh, and just cuddle. I eat up every minute of it! It brings me to tears to think that we may not always have our special time together as she grows older (which could have something to do with pregnancy hormones...).
*Addison is picky in the mornings. She normally prefers Jordan over me, unless I get her out of bed and then she is an all over Mommy's girl (which I love-even if it makes me late for work some days). She's funny that way.

* I love my Addison so much and my love for her grows with each passing day! Although it makes me sad that she's not a little baby any more, I'm so excited to see what God has planned for our lives with her as she gets older! I thank HIM for her every day!

Happy 15 Month Birthday, Little One!!

Way too short maternity pants.

2010-08-13T22:09:00.002-04:00

Here is the picture I took with my cell of the maternity pants that were so short. I found this hilarious...don't know if anyone else will... :)

Pregnancy Highlights Weeks 13 and 14

2010-08-10T12:27:00.000-04:00

Here's my picture for 14 weeks. I never got around to taking the 13 week picture. It was a busy, not so great week, so it just didn't happen. And obviously neither did my weekly post. So I'm just going to lump them together. (And I can't say this won't happen again. Pregnancy makes me tired, forgetful and not care about trivial things such as my blog.)

How Far Along: 13/14 Weeks
Size of Baby: Baby is the size of a clenched fist or lemon.
Total Weight Gain/Loss: I think I'm up to about 8, maybe 9 pounds. I haven't been weighing in the morning (which is the weight I went by in the beginning) so I'm not completely sure what the true gain is. Probably the 9 pounds... :)
Maternity Clothes: I'm wearing a few pairs of maternity pants and occasionally the Bella Band with my regular pants. I have two maternity shirts that I got a GAP.com on clearance that I'm enjoying right now, but mainly still my regular shirts. The pants are some that I borrowed from my friend Ashlea. She's very petite and had size smalls from Motherhood, which I couldn't wear last time I was pregnant (most of my maternity clothes are too big...for now). I figured that they were a bit loose on her so I'd be able to fit into them pretty well. Turns out some were a bit too short. I tried one pair on and spent 10 minutes just laughing at how ridiculous they looked on me. They came to about 4 inches over my ankles. haha. Ashlea's only about 1.5 to 2 inches shorter than I am but I have unpreportionately long legs compared to my height. I can wear two pairs that she gave me while the rest are a bit on the way-too-short side.
Gender: Only 4 more weeks before we find out! I don't have a strong feeling either way. If I had to guess, I would guess girl. Yes, even though my pregnancy has been quite different, I still have a little tiny part of me that thinks its a girl. Not that I prefer girl over boy... I just kind of think it might be.
Movement: I started feeling baby move around a little during week 13! So cool to feel the movement! I don't think I started feeling Addison move this early.
Cravings: I can't think of anything in particular.
What I miss: Nothing really. I guess just having energy to enjoy staying up past 9:00. I'm waiting for the 2nd trimester energy to kick in.
Sleep: I'm sleeping pretty good. Still on my belly. Oddly I don't really get up to pee in the middle of the night anymore.
Symptoms: Well, last week I had a few dizzy spells, one of which resulted in me blacking out and fainting after getting too hot in the shower. I've been hungry a lot and I figure that will only get worse. I did experience my first bit of heartburn last weekend. I;m sure that will only get worse too.
Best Moment this week: Feeling baby moving.
What I'm looking forward to: My ultrasound! And getting to hear Baby's heartbeat at my next doctor's appointment which happens to be on my birthday!
Take a look at this little HAM! She is so silly! I love the little PJs she was wearing. They say "make me giggle"! Cute!

Just thinking

2010-07-28T15:32:00.000-04:00

I've been meaning to record some of my always random thoughts that float around in my head. so here is another all-over the place post (the only kind I can seem to come out with these days).

*When I was pregnant with Addison, I had a hard time remembering that my "condition" was only temporary. Obviously I knew it was, but it was hard for me to wrap my mind around the fact that I would in fact lose a lot of the weight I'd gained and wouldn't permanently stay two sizes bigger. I couldn't fathom there ever being a time when I'd be able to tolerate wearing high heels again much less being comfortable in them. It seemed impossible that I'd be able to wear my pre-pregnancy size bras again (so I gave them as well as most of my smaller clothes away). I knew that I wouldn't be pregnant forever but I thought I'd have more lasting conditions, that becoming a mom would not only change forever emotionally but also physically.

Of course my first pregnancy left some toll on my body through stretch marks and um...less firm body parts but for the most part I was able to bounce back and quickly. I don't really know why I'm saying all of this now. I guess I'm just feeling differently with this pregnancy because I know that almost everything goes back to the way it was. Physically anyway.

*I think I'm getting sick. My throat has been sore and I've been sneezing and sniffing all day. Now I just want to drink some hot tea with honey. Too bad I don't have any.

* I saw a new Vera bag today that I love! I don't know what style it was but the color pattern was Very Berry Paisley. The website does not do it justice. The colors were much more vibrant and pretty in person. I also stumbled upon a color pattern that I think I like even better called Hello Dahlia. There's also Hope Garden which I've liked for a while since it came out. It's so pretty and bright and girly!!

*I just heard this guy say that he couldn't think of any good reason for summer!! HELLO...SANDALS!!

I guess that's it for now. All out of thoughts (other than wanting to go home and go to bed).

Oh, one more thing. I tried to pay for a snack from a gas station with my drivers license. The clerk was like "um, I don't need your ID to sell you potato chips". Why does my debit card keep hiding from me??? And why do I always think I have pulled out my debit card when it is in fact something random and not a method of payment??? AAHhhh!

Quick Stats; Addison this and Addison that

2010-07-28T09:47:00.001-04:00

Addison's current favorite food is pizza.

Addison now has two more teeth. They are on the bottom so she has 4 on the top and 4 on the bottom.

Addison can now tell you what the chicken says ("ba, ba, bac") and what the kitty cat says ("MOW!"-Not to be confused with her cow sound of "Mmmmm"). I'm working on "What does Daddy say?" followed by her blowing a raspberry. It's not really working but I thought it would be funny! :)

Addison can point to her eyes, nose, mouth, ears and hair. Sometimes she'll point out mine too. Such a smarty-pants!

Addison has started saying random words throughout the day. She said "baw" several times while watch a huge ball roll across the TV screen on the nightly news tonight. Sunday she said "ish" while doing the sign we made up for fish (hands clapped together and wiggling through the "water").

Addison loves to ride on the four wheeler with her Grandpa. Actually she pretty much loves doing anything with her Grandpa.

Addison gets upset when Grandma leaves the room without her knowing it. Jordan's Grandma lives with Gena and when Addison stays there during the day, Grandma is her buddy! Today she said she got up to go to the bathroom while Addison wasn't in the room. Addison came back in the room and started fussing when Grandma wasn't there so she tracked her down in the bathroom and started hugging her leg.

Addison also steals food from Grandma, or at least begs her mercilessly for it.

Addison is almost running now.

Addison can climb stairs like no one's business.

Addison refuses to take her milk in a sippy cup. She completely melts down when I try to give her her milk in a sippy cup instead of her bottle. She only takes a bottle 2 or 3 times a day: when she wakes up and goes to bed is an always and sometimes she takes a midday bottle when she's particularly grumpy. It's work in progress. One of her only vices since she didn't have a hard time giving up a paci or nursing.

Addison's smile will melt your heart. It does mine.

Addison makes my day. Every day.

12 Week Pregnancy Highlights

2010-07-27T14:41:00.000-04:00

How Far Along: 12 Weeks

Size of Baby: From crown to rump, Baby is just over two inches long (about the size of a lime) and weighs half an ounce.

Total Weight Gain/Loss: 7 pounds. So it's a little more for the first trimester than the recommended 2 to 5 pounds. Oh well. I think it comes with the second pregnancy territory, right?

Maternity Clothes: Not really. Most of my stuff still fits just snugly where they were lose. I've retired a few pairs of pants/jeans for the next year or more until I (hopefully) lose my baby weight.

Gender: Not sure yet, but while listening to the heartbeat the doctor did make the comment that it sounded a little feminine... (because it was high-150 beats per minute). Probably doesn't mean a lot since Jordan has such a high heart rate. But Addison's was high like that too. We'll find out around the 2nd week in September. Can't wait!

Movement: I keep thinking I feel something but I know it's probably too early. Hopefully it won't be too much longer.

Cravings: I have forgotten to mention it but I've wanted Root Beer Floats for the past few weeks. From Sonic. Yummm... Jordan got tired of me begging him to go to Sonic at 9:00 pm to get one for me so he told me to get some Root Beer and Ice cream at the grocery store so we could make our own. Ever since we've had the stuff at home to make them, it's been Jordan who has wanted one. I guess he's going to have my cravings for me/with me like he did when I was pregnant with Addison and we both always wanted hot fudge sundaes.

What I miss: Nothing really. I guess just having energy to enjoy staying up past 9:00.

Sleep: Having to pee a couples times per night is really interrupting my sleep. I'm still sleeping pretty good. Still enjoying sleeping on my belly. I'm going to have to savor my last few weeks of this. :)

Symptoms: I've had a lot of back pain recently. I don't remember having it so early the last time. Maybe it's how I'm laying while sleeping. Still just slightly nauseous, but not bad at all. My face is starting to get really oily a lot which I've never had a problem with. Strange.

Best Moment this week: Hearing baby's heartbeat! I love it, especially in these early weeks when I can't feel baby moving yet.

What I'm looking forward to: My ultrasound in 6 weeks! Then picking out a nursery theme for a little boy or little girl. Then deciding on a name...I'm starting to get stressed just thinking about it! :) I'll leave you with this adorable little girl! Happy Tuesday!

Aunt Danni and the Many Faces of Addison

2010-07-24T09:21:00.000-04:00

This is my Mom's sister, Danni. She was here for about 2 weeks visiting with Mom before they both flew back out to Reno for the next couple weeks. She got to spend lots of time with Addison which I think they both loved! So glad we got to spend time with you Aunt Danni! Can't wait to see you again! Oh, and thanks for loving on my baby!

She took several picture of my sweet baby while with her. Here is a sequence of faces made by Addison after a hard afternoon of playing in the park:

"I'm so tired and just want to take a nap!"

"I'm so tired, I'm deliriously silly! I think I'll make my turkey noises now...Alulalulalul..."

"And now I'll make my O face. I'm a little overly dramatic sometimes."

"What?! You're going to give me another piece of pizza! Really!?!"

Silly girl!

My McDonalds?

2010-07-23T16:14:00.004-04:00

Wasn't last night a great night for ice cream? I thought it was! We went to Salisbury to eat dinner with my cousin Greg and I decided half way through my popcorn shrimp that I needed ice cream after dinner. The nearest place to go was Dairy Queen so we went. After standing in line for about 10 minutes we were about to order when Greg has the sudden epiphany that Diary Queen might not take cash. We have about $1.17 between the three of us and sure enough we ask the cashier if they take plastic and its a no (actually it was a head shake and a "there's a sign on the door!!"). So we turn around and walk out the door, which was actually fine by me because I don't love DQ.

So we were still on the hunt for ice cream and ended up just going to McDonald's. (I'll confess that neither DQ or McD's were exactly what I had in mind when I mentioned ice cream. I really wanted some Hersey's ice cream or something like Cold Stone or Marble Slab but Salisbury either doesn't have them or I didn't know it if they do). I was driving and got to the window and order 2 hot fudge sundaes. The little worker girl says that it would be $3.00. I said okay and then, "what?!?" I was already driving around but stopped to check out the menu. Hot fudge sundaes are supposed to be on the dollar menu but in Salisbury they are $1.39, oh well. I decided to accept it and just eat my ice cream and be happy (which didn't take much!) When I pulled around to the window I couldn't find my debit card in my wristlet where it always is. I finally had my "Ah there it is" moment when I found a card on the other side of my phone. So I handed it to the girl. She slides it and she slides it again...and again. And then "Ummm, I don't think we take this card..." and she hands me back my.....

MY PANERA CARD

That's right. I gave her my rewards card that I had just gotten earlier this week from Panera Bread. As soon as I realized what I had given her I just died laughing. Apparently that card that I assumed was my debit card...wasn't. But then I still couldn't find my debit card! Want to know where it was? In Jordan's pocket of all places! Still can't figure out how he ended up with there... strange.

This and That and a Girl Named Addison

2010-07-22T16:21:00.000-04:00

**The other day Addison and I were in the car and Addison had her little snack trapper that she carries around with her everywhere. (I love that thing, by the way! It saves us lots of fights!) I can keep an eye on her in my flip down mirror now that she is facing forward in her car seat and I love that! She was being pretty good and eating her snacks when she discovered the bow on her head. Of course she had to immediately pull it out and then chew on that for a while. When I went to get her out of the car I started looking for her bow because we've lost many of them and I'm determined to keep track of the remaining ones. I couldn't find it under her legs or in the floorboard and I just couldn't figure out where it went. Then I saw it...

She had stuffed it down in her snack trapper for safe keeping I guess. Haha! It had me laughing so hard! I don't even know why I thought it was so funny but I just laughed and laughed at her!

**The other night Jordan, Addison and I ate dinner at my mom's house. One of her sister's has been visiting for a few weeks (from Reno, NV) so we wanted to see her and spend some time with her. So it was my Aunt Danni, her son Paul (my cousin), us, mom, dad, and Kyla. We all ate too much and then just sat around the table telling stories and jokes and reminiscing when I started to tell about making Jordan go to Sonic to get me Root Beer Floats (a craving I forgot to mention in my weekly preggo post). Kyla immediately thought I was going to tell about My Sonic Story that I posted about in one of my first blog posts ever. Well that lead to every one telling me that "_____ was my favorite!" and "I loved ____" referring to different posts from my blog! I loved it! It was so funny to me that people (albeit, family) read and remember about things on here. Someone else brought up the post about Chuck trying to go through the drive thru at McDonald's backwards. It was so funny to hear my family retelling my memories! Good times!

**I forgot to put in Addison's 14 mo. post that she can say "hot" also. She whispers it. It's so cute! Whenever she gets near the oven or certain fireplaces or touches a hot plate so whispers it and looks at us with big, wide eyes. We were eating dinner with Jordan's parents this week and Addison was going to over to the stove where Jordan was frying something and Gena told her "no, no. HOT!". So Addison whispered "hot" and walked away. She went over to the trash can and was getting ready to pull stuff out when Gena caught her and said "no, no..." Addison looked at her and whispered "HOT". She was a little off the mark there, but so funny!

11 Week Pregnancy Highlights

2010-07-20T12:05:00.004-04:00

How Far Along: 11 weeks.

Size of Baby: Baby is slightly more than two inches long now and weighing about a third of an ounce. His/Her head is as long as the rest of his/her body.

Total Weight Gain/Loss: I thinks it's around 5 to 6 pounds

Maternity Clothes: Only the maternity shorts. But I am finding that when I wear my jeans, they are much for comfortable with the button undone, so I've started wearing the Bella bands I borrowed from Ashlea. They work pretty well when you don't wear them upside-down... :)

Gender: Any guess?? Still not sure!

Movement: None yet but I can't wait!

Cravings: baklava once. nothing else really coems to mind.

What I miss: sleeping through the night without having to get up to pee. It's so bad that I wake up and my bladder aches until I empty it. Very annoying.

Sleep: Not too bad yet. Still able to get comfortable for now.

Symptoms: the morning sickness has come back a bit. All week I've felt a bit more green than I had been, although, thankfully there has still been no vomiting!

Best Moment this week: Not getting sick and spending time with my baby girl!

What I'm looking forward to: My doctor's apointment on Monday!

Addison Kate is 14 months old!

2010-07-17T21:58:00.001-04:00

Addison, You are 14 months old!

* You are such a spunky little thing with very strong likes and dislikes. I think "strong-willed" would be a good term to describe you.

* You will throw a fit if things don't go your way or if something is taken away from you or not given to you. Most of the time a meltdown signals that it is time for a nap, but they still happen occasionally when you aren't tired.

* You are normally are happy and smiley and such a joy to play with.

* You can say a few different things now such as Mama, Dada or Daddy, Night night, Nana, and Hey or Hi. You know the sign for eat and more and we're working on please, thank you, bath, and drink or thirsty (which I'm going to use interchangeably).

* You know several animal sounds: Woof for dog (this is by far your favorite. You bark at all dogs that you see and some cats), Lul lul lul for turkey (sticking your tongue in and out quickly), Mmmm for cow, Duck, duck, duck for...duck, Eww(very high pitched) of Kitty cat (this is still a work in progress..) and my favorite is the Bee. You goes SSSssss (your version of buzzing) and use for hand to get yourself because we always say the bee is getting you and make the "bee" come and tickle your neck. You are just so adorable.

* You like to talk to people and yell Hi to them (loudly and repeatedly until they acknowledge you). You are a very social baby.

* You are still sleeping great through the night and normally take two good naps a day. I hope this continues for a long time.

* You are still wearing size three diapers and 12 month clothes. Your size 3 shoes are starting to get tight and I'll have to move you to the 4s soon. They just look so big! I think you have definitely gotten taller in the past month. We missed one week of church while we were at the beach and the Sunday we came back everyone commented on how much you had grown over the past 2 weeks. You're definitely slimming down and your little rolls are shrinking. Makes mommy sad...

* You are a walking pro now. In fact you are almost running sometimes. You can fly up a flight of stairs in no time and your working on figuring out the coming back down thing.

* You love to give kisses and now you actually pucker to give them instead of the open mouth kiss you previously gave. You are such a sweetie!

* You are now sitting forward facing in your big girl car seat and I think you like it. It is harder for you to go to sleep since you can see Mommy and Daddy up front now. We also can't get away with eating anything in the car without giving you some too.

* You love Tripp and chase him around the house while laughing hysterically. Very cute!

* Your Daddy and I love you so much (and we tell you all the time) and so enjoy witnessing all of your milestones and learning! You are a very smart girl!

10 Week Pregnancy Highlghts

2010-07-13T21:34:00.003-04:00

So I really though about changing back into my work clothes for Jordan to take my picture tonight, but it just wasn't worth it. So here I am in all my PJ glory! :) You can see the beginnings of a baby bump...at least that's what I'm calling it. I think it's mainly just a flabby, fatty mess. :)

How Far Along: 10 Weeks

Size of Baby: Baby is nearly an inch and a half long and the size of a prune.

Total Weight Gain/Loss: Umm, I think about 7 pounds. That's what happens when you eat non stop while on vacation. Yeah, it's possible I over did it. Oh well, hopefully the weight gain will slack off a bit in the 2nd trimester. We'll see...

Maternity Clothes: Just my comfy shorts. Other than that, my normal clothes still fit fine for the most part.

Gender: After a trip to the beach with some pretty rambunctious boys, I'm kind of scared of a boy! :) I still would love to have one, but it's a but intimidating to me. I guess you just get comfortable with what you know. And all I know is little girls! I can't wait to find out!

Movement:

Cravings: Still want fresh fruits and veggies. Also I had to have some chocolate milk the other day. I don't know that this qualifies for a craving since I didn't want it until I saw it in the grocery store. So it didn't just come out of nowhere.

What I miss: Umm, I can't think of much of anything. I guess not being constantly tired.

Sleep: Still pretty decent sleep. Just some crazy dreams. I very rarely remember my dreams, but I have several times now and they were CRAZY!! Also having to pee in the middle of every night.

Symptoms: Morning sickness has eased a lot. Or maybe I'm just used to it. Maybe it's because I was on vacation without a ton of responsibility, so I could lounge a bit more than normal. I don't know. Also really tired and sore back.

Best Moment this week: Spending time with family and of course my little Monkey!

Beachy Goodness!

2010-07-13T11:15:00.002-04:00

Beach trip in photos:

Addison loved to walk on the catwalk out to the sand. She really got good at walking all over the place during our trip. Oh, and she will no longer hold my hand while I walk beside her. So sad! She thinks she's all gone up now.
Isn't she so Beautiful! I just love her little curls!Here's Addison with her 5 cousins. These are all of the grand kids of Jordan's side. (Addison's the only one one my side...until February!) Kaylee (9) with Ellett (8 months), Bryson (11) with Conner (4), and Keenan (13) with Addison (1). They're a good looking bunch, huh?
Chilling on the Beach on the Forth of July!
I just love her red, white and blue bathing suit. so cute!
She was NOT diggin the hat. or the sand. or the water. or the not being held. She was trying to get to me through the camera. Little Miss Whiny Pants!
This is what Jordan did to Kaylee. He and his cousin used to always bury each other in the sand, so he thinks it's great fun! I'll let them keep their fun to themselves. :)

And this is what Addison did to cool off! She's into climbing into things. She was in the dishwater later that week.

We had such a great time at the beach! We really missed Jordan's dad, who couldn't come since he had to work. Next time hopefully he'll be able to come. I was really, really stoked that Jordan's Grandma was able to come! It had been years since she had been to the beach and she so loves it. Hopefully she'll realize that she can get out and about easier than she thought and will go places now that we're back home. I think she really had a great time. We enjoyed eating...at the house(Brent, Jordan's Bro in law, is such a great cook. He cooked for us every night but 2. SO GOOD), at restaurants (Yacht Basin Provision-best place ever!!, Japanese steakhouse, Thai by the Beach, Ice cream shops and more ice cream shops!) just a lot of eating! No wonder I packed on the pounds! :) Great trip! Can't wait to do it again!

9 Week Pregnancy Highlights

2010-07-06T16:01:00.005-04:00

How Far Along: 9 Weeks

Size of Baby: Baby is about an inch, the size of a medium green olive.

Total Weight Gain/Loss: Umm, I think about 4 pounds. Or possibly 5. Hard to tell at the beach. I've decided not to obsess about it.

Maternity Clothes: Just my comfy shorts. Other than that, my normal clothes still fit fine for the most part.

Gender: Not sure yet...

Movement: Sure can't wait!

Cravings: Loving fresh fruits and veggies, along with junk food such as cheetos or chips and salsa.

What I miss: Having energy

Sleep: Actually pretty good. It's amazing that I already have to get up in the middle of the night every single night to pee. I normally try to ignore it and just go back to sleep but it never works because my bladder will just ache until I empty it. And it's still really full every morning when I wake up.

Symptoms: My back is starting to get really sore and achy. I don't really get that considering I haven't really got much of a stomach yet so I'm not out of balance yet. Also really fatigued. So nausea, but not too bad this week. I think it's because we're at the Beach!

Best Moment this week: Getting to the beach and spending so much time with Addison.

Sorry for the lack of picture this week. Too busy! Hopefully next week.

Funny Addison Pictures

2010-06-30T20:35:00.005-04:00

Here are some pictures that my sister Kyla cropped and edited when she found out I was pregnant with #2... They crack me up!

Ha, ha! So Funny! I love these! Thanks Aunt Kyla!

8 Week Pregnancy Highlights and Doctor's appointment

2010-06-29T13:58:00.008-04:00

How Far Along: 8 Weeks

Size of baby: Baby is 5/8 of an inch from head to rump, about the size of a large raspberry.
Total Weight Gain/Loss: Umm...I think I've gained 4 pounds. I'm going to pretend that I didn't just type that so I'm not even going to comment on it.

Maternity Clothes: I'm occasionally wearing my two pairs of borrowed maternity shorts. Very comfy! Most of my other clothes are fitting fine. I just have to unbutton the the top button on my pants after lunch most days.

Gender: Still guessing. Don't forget to vote on the gender poll on my sidebar.

Movement: Not yet, but I can't wait!

Cravings: Tomatoes. Fresh juicy ones.
What I miss: Being able to shower without getting dizzy and nearly passing out. Also any amount of energy would be nice to get back.
Sleep: I'm sleeping pretty good, but already needing to get up to pee at least once per night.
Symptoms: Nausea, exhaustion, dizziness.
Best Moment this week: Seeing baby on the ultrasound and seeing/hearing the heartbeat!! It was wonderful! Here's a picture of one of the ultrasound pictures:

See the head on the right side and the little arm and leg buds. I can't believe the amount of detail we could see when I'm only eight weeks along. I was expecting a blob/peanut but I think it actually resembles a little baby! So cool!

My doctor's appointment went so good! We saw one of the Midwives, Nona, at my practice and she is so wonderful! I'd seen her once before during my pregnancy with Addison at a routine appointment and I liked her but just didn't have a whole lot of interaction with her. Nona had a PA student with her during my appointment and they were both so warm and friendly. They gave me all the time I wanted with them and never once made me feel rushed. We discussed all concerns and questions I had and then Nona did my ultrasound herself instead of sending off to one of the ultrasound techs. She tried to look at the baby with the 3D/4D on, but it was just to strong for my little guy/gal. We couldn't get a shot that resembled anything that looked like a baby. But the regular ultrasound was really cool, as seen above.

We're so thankful that everything is going so well right now and that the baby seems to be thriving a right on schedule (cool little thing: According to what I thought I was, I was 7 weeks, 6 days at the apt. yesterday. When Nona was doing the ultrasound she measured the baby to figure out my due date and told me the baby measured 7 weeks, 6 days! It blows my mind that the doctors are able to pinpoint with such precision how far along you are. CRAZY!). Everything seems a little more real now (to Jordan, anyway. I was already thinking it felt a little too real with all the morning sickness and sleepiness...) and I think we are both anticipating the arrival of this little person! A lot to consider and work out, but I just keeping smiling when I think of a new baby!

It's Offical

2010-06-25T22:27:00.005-04:00

That's right. Addison is officially walking! I would say that yesterday was the day she really started walking. All week she's been talking a few steps (up to 7 or 8) at a time. Well yesterday she would actually let you put her down in the middle of the room, standing up and just take off (timidly) toward you or whatever caught her attention. She's going to be hard(er) to keep up with soon!

I just wanted to document the milestone!!

Random Fireworks

2010-06-25T22:14:00.002-04:00

So, we were sitting on the couch watching a movie just now and we kept hearing this loud noise that sounded like a gun firing. It kept going on and we realized that it was fireworks. We could not figure out why there were fireworks going off on a random Friday night, a week before the fourth, but we went outside to see if we could see them from our front porch. IT was awesome!

These are the best pictures I could get. There are just a few trees in the way of our view, but it's nearly as good as being in the actual park (minus all the loud, annoying people).
We realized later that Relay for Life is going on tonight so we think that's what the fireworks were for. Now we know that we have a great view without leaving our house to watch fireworks for the fourth. Oh, wait, too bad we'll be at the beach for the fourth!! Next year...

Rocking Away

2010-06-24T09:32:00.000-04:00

Yesterday Jordan had an Addie-Daddy day with Addison. He found this adorable little rocking chair for her and said she had to have it. I've been wanting to get a rocking chair for her for a while now and I'm so glad he found one. I can't decide if I should paint it or leave it wooden. I'm sure even if I decided to paint it, I would never get around to getting it done. That's why there is a Toy Box in our garage that has the name of its former owner painted on the side. It will one day be painted just for Addison to go in her room...as soon as I get around to it. I'm such a procrastinator! Anyway, here are some pictures of our sweet girl rocking on the front porch.

This one cracks me up. Her little facial expression is so cute! It looks like she's "striking a pose"! And of course Tripp has to be right there in the action.

I hope y'all are having a great day!

Baby Steps

2010-06-23T15:48:00.002-04:00

Monday, Addison came to see me at work (Gena brought her). When they came in, I went out to the lobby and got her out of her stroller and played with her for a bit. She loves to push her stroller around so she was doing that then realized that Gena's purse was hanging from the handles and that she could reach into it. Addison grabbed a pen and help on to instead of the stroller so I pushed the stroller out of her reach. I figured she would just sit straight down and crawl to it, but she actually took 5 or 6 steps unassisted to get to it!!

I was stunned! It was the coolest thing to have seen her take her first steps at my work! As a working mom, I have prepared myself to miss some of her firsts (the first time she rolled over is one I missed) so I figured that my mom or Gena would tell me the exciting news of some first steps one day when I picked her up.

Addison and I were playing in the floor yesterday evening and she pulled up on a toy then let go of it to just stand next to it. I moved the toy several feet away from her and she walked 6 to 7 wobbly steps over to it! I called Jordan over to see it, but she refused to do it again. I'm betting it won't be long before she is really walking and even running! My baby is growing up so fast!!

7 Week Pregnancy Highlights

2010-06-22T12:05:00.008-04:00

How Far Along: 7 Weeks

Size of baby: Baby is now about the size of a blueberry, about 1/2 and inch from head to rump.

Total Weight Gain/Loss: I think I'm still at 1 pound (could possibly be 2 pounds... How, you may ask, do you gain weight when you are nauseous most of the time? Because the only thing that helps keep the vomiting at bay is to always have something on your stomach and not let it get empty. Therefore constant eating is necessary...even when you don't want to.)

Maternity Clothes: I know I'm going to get some grief for this but I have worn maternity shorts a few times. I know it's way too early but they fit better than most of my other regular shorts since I'm a few sizes smaller than I have been in 3 or 4 summers. The maternity ones are in the right size, just with stretchy waist bands. If I keep having to unbutton my pants everyday after lunch I'm going to have to start wearing the Belly bands I borrowed from my friend Ashlea.

Gender: Jordan and I are both leaning toward a boy (for what we think it's going to be. We would both be happy with another little girl or a baby boy! I really don't have a preference.)

Movement: Just gas! haha, Just kidding! I really can't wait to feel baby moving around!

Cravings: I've been craving tomatoes. Fresh, garden grown, ripe tomatoes! Yum...

What I miss: I miss not eating all the time! And drinking water without it making me feel sicker than I already do.

Sleep: Sleeping pretty good right now. I'm going to bed between 9:30 and 10 and waking up at 6 (plus once during the night to pee).

Symptoms: I'm feeling pretty nauseous a lot but still no vomiting! Also very fatigued!

Best Moment this week: Spending time with family and thinking of Baby's arrival this winter.

What I am looking forward to: So many things, but in the near future, my first doctor's appointment next Monday (June 28th-8 weeks).

Weekend Fun

2010-06-21T15:07:00.003-04:00

We had a full weekend! Friday was my friend, Jessica's Birthday, so I got Jordan to pick up Addison and hang out with her so I could take Jess out for a girl's movie night. And of course what other movie would any 24 year old girl want to see on her birthday but TOY STORY 3 in 3D! We had a great time and both really loved the movie!

I was a bit skeptical about the 3D and the dorky glasses (how does watching a 3D movie mix with morning sickness??) but it was actually really cool. The only time I got really nauseous was when we walking into the theater and I immediately smelled someone's nachos with jalapenos. Definitely not what I wanted to be smelling even though I normally love jalapenos.

On Saturday morning, Addison and I cleaned up around the house and played and didn't nap. Jordan worked on his beater truck that he's fixing up and then the three of us headed up to Kerr Scott Lake where Jordan's parents were camping for the weekend. Both of Jordan's sisters and their families also came up for the day to celebrate Father's Day. We went swimming in the lake. Addison was not too keen on this and cried for several minutes when we put her in the water. She had a death grip to me and really didn't like it. Once she got used to it she was okay and sat in her float for a few minutes. I didn't let her stay out very long because I didn't put sunscreen on her since I figured she'd pitch a fit in the water anyway. I hovered over her so she wouldn't be in the direct sunlight and we didn't get burnt. Here's all the grand kids. L to R, Conner, Addison, Kaylee, Bryson, Keenan, and Ellett.

After swimming we went back to the camp ground and just hung out reading, doing puzzles, following Addison and stopping her from eating rocks every 30 seconds. Addison decided that the little rocks on the ground were so cool and that they were fun to try to eat. It was so hard to keep her happy and not eating rocks! We cooked hamburgers and hot dogs and then roasted marshmallows. We gave Addison a marshmallow that hadn't been roasted to let her gnaw on. This did distract her from the rocks momentarily. She ended up getting it all over her and Jordan and then dissing it for the rocks. It was a fun day but we were pretty exhausted we we got back home.

Sunday we had my parents and sister over after church for lunch. We had salad, marinated grilled chicken, mac and cheese, roasted potatoes, and brownies with walnuts. I was so yummy! I have craved a good salad smothered with tomatoes ever since! It was nice to hang out with my family and watch them love on Addison.

That afternoon we went to our friend(Kirby and Dustin and Brenden)'s house to go swimming. Once again Addison was not loving the water, but she warmed up to it a little bit quicker. She chilled out in a float with a protective sunshade for about an hour and a half. It was so funny to look at her (I wish I had a picture). She confiscated my bottle of water and held it in one hand and played with a toy in the other. She had her sunhat on and was laid back in the float. It was so cute! After swimming we had a cook out and then just hung out by the pool talking and listening to the i-pod until it got dark.

It was a great weekend. I managed to feel pretty good most of the time. I'm hoping for many more low-key, relaxing and nausea-free weekends this summer!

Happy Father's Day

2010-06-20T14:56:00.001-04:00

Daddy:

Thank you for always playing with me, talking to me, giving me snacks and food, making my bottles, changing my dirty diapers, making up silly songs to sing to me, letting me pull your hair while riding on your shoulders, affectionately referring to me as "stinky" (my most used nickname), staring at me like I'm your favorite, and for loving me so much!

I think you are the best Daddy a girl could have! I love you!

Love, Addison

Jordan: You are such an awesome Father! I love you more than even and want to Thank you for being so great!

Addison Kate is 13 months old!

2010-06-17T12:15:00.002-04:00

Addison, you are 13 months old today!

* You are such a sweet, spunky little thing with a huge personality. You love to be around people and you always talk to them. We'll be walking through Walmart and you very loudly announce that you want to talk to another shopper by saying "'IIIiiiii!" (Hi) or "Aaaayyy!!" (Hey). It's very cute. If no one talks back to you then you continue to talk to them, getting louder and louder with each turn. You are definitely your Daddy's child, little social butterfly! Oh, and the only time you're shy is if someone comes up and talks to you first. Then you either stare and them or smile shyly into my shoulder. You always make your Momma laugh!

* You love to play with baby dolls (Especially ones that aren't yours that you've stolen from your cousins at church...). I'll tell you to give baby a kiss and you'll kiss her head and when I tell you to hug baby you hug her tight and smile. It's so cute. I can't wait to see how you interact with your little sibling (I just hope you don't bite or thrown him or her across the floor like you do with your babies.)

* You like to wave hello and bye bye to anyone. Sometimes it's with your fist (normally facing back towards yourself) and sometimes its with your whole arm. Either way it sweet and very cute. Everyone loves it when you wave.

*You also now know how to give kisses and blow kisses. I'll tell you to give me a kiss and lean forward with your little lips poked out just a bit and go "UUuuummmm-aaah" making the kissing noise. Its so cute. Blowing a kiss works the same way except instead of leaning forward you just bring your pudgy little hand to your mouth and hold it there while making the kissing noise. You are so just so smart!

* You also like to push things. If your stroller is in the house, you will go straight to it and start pushing it around. You do this with anything that moves (weather or not it has wheels...) such as the little horse that you are supposed to ride or the chair in the kitchen that is strategically placed into front of certain cabinets that you don't need to be opening.

*You love to smile and laugh.

*You now know a few different animal sounds. When i ask what a doggie says, you say "woof woof". When I ask what a cow says, you say either "Boooooo" or "MMMMMMmmm". When I ask what a duck says, you say "duck duck duck". It's still a work in progress but it's super cute!

* You also say "Mama", "Dada"(sometimes it's "Daddy"), "Hey", "doggie" (kindof), "kitty", "yummy" and many other things that you are working on. You are quite the cutie!

*Your favorite game is to run around the house either or Daddy's shoulder's or in Mommy's arms chasing Tripp (or anyone really). You cackle and laugh so hard, especially when someone jumps out and scares you.

* You love to play on your Rose Cottage house from your Aunt Viv. Opening and closing the oven or dryer doors is your favorite thing.

* You still do really well in the car. Sometimes we give you a snack cup with cereal in it if you're fussy and you are happy as can be. You'll still go to sleep in the car if you're tired as long as you have your blanket with you (which you are still very attatched to and need anytime you are falling asleep).

* You have decided that it's really fun to scream/squeal while we are eating out in a restaurant. I don't know how to stop you from doing this, since your still so little. We try to tell you "no" very sternly (which you cry) or take you out or the restaurant (which you like) or tell you that we are inside and we have to be quiet while we are inside (which you don't get). We're working on it.

* You still say "yeah" and "no" in response to questions. This amuses/surprises people and they think it's so cute. I wonder how much you really understand as it seems that you often have an appropriate answer!

* You still fit nicely in most size 12 month outfits and size 3 shoes, with a few exceptions.

* You are getting faster in moving around and closer to walking every day. You've taken a few steps while holding a toy in your hand a few times. You can stand by yourself for a few minutes until you notice your not holding on to anything. You can even squat down with out support if you don't realize you're doing it. I think you are just timid. It will happen when you are ready.

* You love to eat most of the time. Some days it seems as if you don't stop eating all day! You love just about any fruit or meat, especially grilled chicken and steak. Vegetables aren't your favorite and you may or may not eat them, depending on your mood. You love yogurt. You are mainly eating all table foods and very rarely eat baby food. You do still love your puffs, veggie dip crunchies, yogurt melts, goldfish of all flavors, and cheerios.

*You sleep great, normally going to bed at 8:00 and getting up at 7:00. you very rarely wake up in the middle of the night and for this I owe you a huge "THANKYOU for letting mommy sleep"!

* You have 6 teeth now. You have four on top and 2 on bottom. I think the next two bottom teeth are going to be coming in soon.

Your Mommy and Daddy love you so much and look forward to watching you grow up and discover and learn new things! You mean so much to us! I love you, Baby Girl!

6 Week Pregnancy Highlights

2010-06-15T13:21:00.001-04:00

While taking this picture Jordan kept telling me to turn sideways because he couldn't see my stomach. So I would turn sideways more and he just looked at me and said, "Jenny, You don't even have a belly yet. We may as well not even take a picture..." I told him I knew that and just to go along with me or he'll experience the wrath of a pregnant woman! and believe me, he knows what that's like! :)

How Far Along: 6 weeks

Size of baby: baby is a quarter of an inch long, about the size of a lentil bean (BabyCenter.com). Baby is no bigger than the length of a nail head (about a quarter of an inch) from crown to rump (WhattoExpect.com)!

Total Weight Gain/Loss: +1. I had lost a pound last week and gained it back plus one this week.

Maternity Clothes: None yet. Although sometimes I feel like I need them. Stupid bloating! :)

Gender: Jordan and I are both leaning toward a boy (for what we think it's going to be. We would both be happy with another little girl or a baby boy! I really don't have a preference.)

Movement: Can't wait!!

What I miss: Being able to go for more than a few hours without eating. I get nauseous on an empty stomach.

Sleep: Feeling the fatigue! I'm going to bed around 10 but might move it back to 9!

Symptoms: I'm getting nauseous a little every day, normally just when I get hungry but sometimes its pretty bad. Last night I has to get up in the middle of dinner and lay on the couch. I just got really nauseous all of a sudden and really thought it would be my first vomiting session of this pregnancy. But thankfully it went away and I've felt mostly good since then.

Best Moment this week: Not vomiting during week 5! I feel like this is cause for celebration since I first threw up last time at 5 wks, 4 days. Maybe I'll bypass it this time. I'm not holding my breath, but it can't hurt to hope a little...

What I am looking forward to: So many things, but in the near future, my first doctor's appointment on June 28th (8 weeks).

Because She's that cute!

2010-06-09T20:44:00.002-04:00

She's my Cutie Pie and I love her!

5 Week Pregnancy Highlights

2010-06-08T12:36:00.003-04:00

How Far Along: 5 weeks

Size of baby: Baby is about the size of a sesame seed and looks more like a tiny tadpole than a human (according to BabyCenter.com) (I just saw on whattoexpect.com that Baby is the size of an orange seed.)

Total Weight Gain/Loss: I've lost one pound. I'm definitely eating, but not using pregnancy as an excuse to go overboard (as I may or may not have done last time... :) ) I'm interested to see how different this pregnancy is, as far as weight gain goes. I'm about 15 pounds lighter this time at the starting point so I'm hoping to not feel as fat as I felt with Addison. I'm going to try to eat better and not give into every food craving I get.

Maternity Clothes: not wearing any yet but I have a strong suspicion that I'll be in them before the summer is over...(Thanks, LeeAnn, for the maternity shorts! I think they are going to fit wonderfully!)

Gender: Any guesses? I've got a poll up on my sidebar so that you can vote boy or girl. Jordan wants me to do one of the Intelligender Tests from the drugstore. It's supposed to be 80%accurate and will tell you the gender as early as 10 weeks but it's about $35! We'll see...I liked finding out at the ultrasound last time. One of my favorite moments of being pregnant was that 18 week ultrasound! I can't wait to do that again!

Movement: None yet, but I cannot wait to feel baby move! That was my favorite thing about being pregnant last time.

What I miss: I haven't had the chance to miss anything yet.

Sleep: Already noticing a difference. I'm having to get up to pee in the middle of the night and I'm really hot all night. Tossing and turning a lot.

Symptoms: I've had a few nauseous moments, but nothing too bad yet. It's bad when I get too hungry. I've also been dizzy a couple of times where I felt as if I might pass out.

Best Moment this week: Having Jordan kiss my belly and tell the baby "Goodbye" and "I love you." one morning as we were leaving for work! Sweet!

What I am looking forward to: So many things, but in the near future, my first doctor's appointment on June 28th (8 weeks).

Our House

2010-06-05T22:53:00.000-04:00

Here's a few pictures of a few rooms in our house.

This is our bedroom (with Greg exiting). We'd like to move the glider upstairs and get two chairs facing the TV armourer. Notice the blue ceiling. Took me a little while to get used to, but the room needed some color with the bland walls.

Here's the other end of our bedroom. I love our king size bed!This is the living room. (We were watching UP! I love, love, love that movie!)

This is the piece of furniture that we've spent the past two months searching for. It was so hard to find something the right size and style to go in the huge hole in the middle of the built in cabinets/bookshelves. I think it matches quite well I think

Here's the mantel. I really need to put some candles on the candle holders. I'll get around to it eventually...

Here's the dinning room. It has a view out to the water and fountain in the front yard. You can see my stripes on the wall really well! Love them!

The furniture is Jeff and Gena's (Jordan's parents). We sold ours a few months ago and it would have been perfect in the space. Oh well, I think Gena's set is beautiful and works well in there also.
Here's my favorite room in the house. Addison Kate's Room!

Our craig's list steal!

One of her favorite birthday presents. Isn't it precious?!
Her crib was another craigs list find! Gotta love it! And her name on the wall I love!!

Tripp wanted to be in a picture too! :)

Those were the only rooms I had decent pictures of. I'll try to get more up later. To see the outside of the house, see this post (It looks prettier now with all the trees in bloom. I'll get more pictures up soon. Also of the kitchen since it's now green instead of boring brown)

A Night to Remember

2010-06-05T17:46:00.007-04:00

So about a couple of weeks ago Jordan told me not to make plans on a random Wednesday evening. I couldn't figure out what he had up his sleeve. I went through every type of anniversary we have and couldn't figure out anything special and monumentous for that date. Anyway, I as I pulled into the driveway I saw our table and chairs set up on the upstairs balcony. So when I walked through the door, Jordan greeted he all dressed up in a suit. I still could NOT figure out what was going on. Jordan led me through the house (that he cleaned!!) to the bedroom. (NO, this story is not going where you think it is so get you mind out of the gutter! :) AND, NO this is NOT the night I got pregnant. I know you were thinking it. ;) ) He had the dress I wore to my senior prom laid out on the bed along with some heels and jewelry. He just told me to get dressed and that I could take my time. I was trying to do something with my hair when my friend LeeAnn walked in. I was even more confused at this point but happy to be sharing the evening with our close friends. Turns out the whole thing was just an nice evening that the boys planned as a surprise for us mommies (also a belated Mother's Day present). They had babysitters for the girls and cooked and cleaned...had everything taken care of.

Here's the table before we ate. LeeAnn and I. My big bulky Nikon is difficult to use for a self portrait, but we made it work. Chuck and LeeAnn

Jordan and I

Chuck and LeeAnn again

Jordan and I again.

Here's the food table.

We had the most amazing salad with strawberries, feta cheese, walnuts, mandarin oranges, and raspberry vinaigrette. So good. I ate two bowls... :)

We had delicious steaks, twice baked potatoes and bread with olive oil and balsamic vinegar to dip it in. Everything was so, so good!

This was the dessert. I know it doesn't look that great, but it was super tasty. Chocolate cake with white icing. And the message says, "Breast Moms" as an homage to us breastfeeding mothers. Yes, you may roll your eyes now. haha. I wasn't going to take a picture but I figured it would be a once in a lifetime experience so I better document it. :)
After we ate and hung out for a while, we got our babies back from their babysitters (Thanks Mom! Really Appreciate it! Love you!) It was pretty late (past 9) but we let them play in Addison's new play house. This picture cracks me up because they are standing in the exact same pose. Cute! ( I just wish my finger hadn't half-way covered up the flash-hence the dark corner. :( )
Playing house. Funny that little girls love to play with sinks and dishes, washing machines and ovens. Just wait a few years, girls, and all the joy will have faded from "playing" with the household appliances!
I just couldn't get a great picture of them. But they were both so, so tired.

And this is what happens when you let babies stay up playing waaaay past bedtime. Aren't they adorable!

It was such a wonderful evening! I so enjoy talking with LeeAnn and am so thankful for her friendship!

Thank you so much Jordan (and Chuck, too, who originated the idea!) for loving me and creating such a special night for me! I love you!!

Some News...

2010-06-03T17:16:00.006-04:00

So... You may have noticed some changes to my blog recently. Such as the addition of a new ticker. That's right!

I'm Pregnant!!

I found out on Tuesday morning and told Jordan later that evening. I was going to try to keep it to myself for a few weeks, but it knew it would be too hard not to tell Jordan and once Jordan knows something everyone he talks to knows it (He cannot keep a secret when it's something he's excited about!) Also there was a circumstance that needed to be addressed and the fact that I'm pregnant went into play with it. So we told all of our family (that we could get in touch with *cough, cough, KYLA* :) ) that night. It was so much fun to tell everyone that Addison is going to be a big sister! My mom screamed and cried (all happy screams and tears of course!)

I am currently a little over 4 weeks along and I'm feeling good. I've started to feel a little, teeny, tiny bit nauseous in the afternoons. I'm going to stay positive and say that it's not going to get worse and it wont' be nearly as bad as last time!

We're praying for a healthy baby, boy or girl!

12 Month Stats

2010-05-26T13:15:00.003-04:00

Addison went to the doctor today for her 12 month well-baby visit. She was such a ham for all the nurses; talking and answering their questions with "yea"s and "no"s! So cute!! She is in the 50th percentile for height, 45th for weight and 85th for head circumference (H: 29", W: 20 lbs, 3oz, HC: 18"). Yes, she has a big head. That only means she's super smart!!

The doctor said she was doing great verbally (which Addison demonstrated the entire time we were there) and that she was not at all concerned that Addison's not walking. She's cruising and crawling around enough to be extremely mobile still. It won't be long...

The bad part of the visit was that my poor little baby (I started to write girl, but that just makes her sound so old. She's still Mama's Baby!) had to get her little finger prick to check her lead levels and she also had to get three shots! She screamed and then cried (the kind of crying where she can't catch her breath) for 10 minutes afterward. I felt so bad. And making it even worse was that I had to get right back in the car (without her) and come back to work while Jordan took her home. I so wanted to stay with her to comfort her and cheer her up. She was, of course, fine. I'm sure it was much more traumatic fro her Daddy and I. I told Jordan he needed to take one of his anxiety pills before her next appointment. Haha!

I'm glad to know that my baby is healthy and growing and right on track with her development!

Addison's Big PARTY

2010-05-22T23:49:00.002-04:00

Today was Addison's big Birthday party! We had nearly fifty people there and everything ended up going really well. It did rain a bit but only for a short time.

Here's the beautiful Birthday Princess in all her glory! These wallet prints were the take-away favor.

This is Addison's smash cake. And smash it she did...

Here's the big cake. Loved the pink and greens!
We had a big bounce house set up for the big kids. Jordan let Addison try it out before anyone else got there. She was pretty unsure of it.

This is Addison playing in her new Rose Cottage House. My wonderful Aunt Vivian gave this to Addison on Friday for her birthday. She had it already set up for us. She loves playing with all the little pieces and household appliances. My favor part is the birthday cake. It is in 4 pieces that all Velcro together so you can serve them out. Oh, and it even came with plastic paper plates. They are so cute and you can tell they are supposed to be little Dixie plates. Thanks so much, Aunt Viv!Here's the party girl pre-party playing on my bed.

Playing with one of her many presents.

Isn't she just precious! She loves her GranDee.

Eating her dress...?

Again with GranDee.

These are the babies that were at the party. It's Salem (with mommy LeeAnn) and John (with mommy Charlin) and Addison (with mommy me :) That are only 3 and 1/2 months between the oldest (John) and youngest (Salem). We are all pregnant at the same time and in the same innerchange bible study group together. There was one other couple in the group that have a little boy (Tyler) in the middle but they were at the beach.

Here's one of the tables.
She had a piece of watermelon that she was loving!! We had to sneak it away from her.
She didn't know what to think about the candle.

Playing in the cake. Starting out cautious.

Finally digging into it.

And this is the finished result. In the hair and everything.

Here's all the presents. Addison was not interested in opening any of them. She just wanted to play with Conner. See his little broken arm? Poor little guy. Looks like Ellett was trying to play with Conner too! He's such a little cutie!

We had so much fun! Thanks to everyone who helped make this such a special day! We love you!

Addison's Birthday (Party # 1)

2010-05-20T11:08:00.000-04:00

This is a long post. with lots of pictures. Here goes:Monday night we had a small(ish) party for Miss Addison at our house. It was so much fun and Addison was such a little ham!
We ate outside on the covered patio even though it was slightly chilly from the rain. We had marinated chicken, salad, broccoli and cheese, bread, banana pudding and pink lemonade cake! We invited my sister, Kyla (the photographer-not pictured), my parents (on the right), my uncle Glenn, Aunt Pat, my cousin Greg, and Jordan's parents (his dad is on the left, his mom couldn't come). And of course Jordan, Addison and I.

Here's my Dad and Aunt Pat. Can you tell they're siblings? They are both wild over Addison.

The birthday girl and her mommy!

Here's "uncle" Greg with Addison. She doesn't look like it in this picture but she loves Greg! And he is totally wrapped around her little finger. He calls her "Girly" and rides her on his shoulders and worries over toys that shes trying to put in her mouth. It's really sweet.
Here's Addison and her Papaw. He is another one of her favorite people!

Our happy little family of three!
Here's the delicious pink lemonade cake and smash cake that my mom made. I thought they turned out so cute!

As we were presenting Addison's cake to her she just kept looking up at me like, "Mom...What is this thing. It's on fire! You realize you are giving me fire?!?"

But then after we blew out her candle and she started sticking her hands in it she realized she liked it. "OOOHHH... It's gooey and sweet!"

Then she started looking up at us with a new facial expression after every time she touched the cake. It was hilarious! See what I mean about her being a little ham!?

Addison didn't destroy the cake completely like I thought she would and she didn't really eat it. She tasted the icing a bit but was not at all interested in the cake.
She only wanted to dump it off the plate and then she wanted to lick the plate...

and put it on her head. She didn't get as covered in icing as I expected, but she got pretty messy.

Then came bath time. She was NOT enjoying her bath. I think she knew that other people were there and waiting for her to come open presents.
She's just to pitiful and although she was screaming and whining, it was so cute!
Once we started opening presents Miss Addison decided to cheer up some.
She definitely enjoyed her audience! See the pile of new clothes she got! The girl will not need any more clothes for a while!

This is my favorite picture of her for the night. This is the new toy that in mentioned in this post. She was speeding down the hallway and I had to run backwards in front of her to catch a picture of her! Look at that huge grin!

She had such a great birthday! Thank you to everyone who made her day special!

The End of an Era

2010-05-18T15:16:00.000-04:00

As we approached Addison's first birthday, we started to introduce whole milk into her bottles. The closer May 17th came, the higher the ratio of whole milk to breast milk became. This past weekend Addison took several bottles that were all whole milk and didn't seem to notice a difference at all, which is wonderful!

So what does this mean for me? NO MORE PUMPING!! (Get ready for TMI in the next few sentences...)

I am so ~~pumped (haha)~~ excited about not pumping! I had decreased the number of times I was pumping daily until I was just pumping once in the morning. I did that for about a week then did it every other day for a few days and now I haven't pumped since Saturday. I'm feeling it. It doesn't feel good. I'm hoping that my milk supply dries up really soon because this process is quite painful! I was reading about natural remedies to dry up milk supplies in an article online and it suggested several things (most of which I'm not going to try) one of which is to take a decongestant because it's designed to dry you up. So I'm trying it and hoping that it works. We'll see.

It's been so nice to not have to lug around my pump, pump accessories, and cooler to work and home every single day! It's nice to be able to stay out on the teller line every morning and afternoon without having to duck out to my back office to pump and feeling guilty about lines forming in the lobby. I'm so, so glad that I was able to breastfeed and that I did it for Addison's entire first year, but I have to say that I am so glad that I'm done! ( I just wish I could skip the engorgement phase. My boobs feel like they might explode!!)

Just had to share... :)

Happy Birthday Addison Kate!

2010-05-17T13:43:00.003-04:00

Addison,

You are one year old today! I cannot believe how quickly this past year has gone by! You are such a beautiful, happy, sweet, spunky little girl! You're getting so big and starting to do so many things now! You are almost walking, just a little scared to let go and do it yourself. And that's okay with me. I'll let you do things on your own time, baby. You are curious about just about everything now. When we go shopping you like to stick your little hand over the side of the stroller and grab anything you can reach. Then you just grin up at me when you reel your new treasure in. I love you so much more than I could ever convey in words. I never imagined how much I would love and care about you. How I would ache for you when we are separated. How I'd miss you when you are in the next room sleeping. How much joy I would get out of simply watching you explore and figure things out. You have given your Daddy and me so much happiness and joy over the past year, I can't wait to see what's in store for us over the next few years!

Happy Birthday, Sweetheart!

I love you so much!

Smith Girls Rocking the House!

2010-05-15T13:41:00.000-04:00

My mom's sister, (my Aunt) Cheri and my cousin Zach came into town a couple weekends ago. While they were here, We had a Rockband party at my house. At first Mom and Cheri were taking turns on the microphone, singing... But we finally convinced them to try the guitar. And they both did very well. Much better than I did the first time I tried to play, that's for sure.

Here's Cheri rocking out! (on a side note: If you look really closely to the dinning room wall in the background, you can see my stripes that I've been talking about for months. Love it!)

All of us pretending to play/sing for the camera.

You gotta love this picture! That's my cousin Greg being crazy! Fun times!

Mother's Day

2010-05-14T10:15:00.000-04:00

We went out to Jordan's parents house for lunch on Mother's day. It was a beautiful day! All of the kids enjoyed playing outside with bubbles and nerf guns and softballs. Addison even tried to play badminton (didn't you always think it was called bad MITTON? I did when I was a kid and definitely didn't know how to spell it. Well actually, I still don't...I had to google it to make sure I had it right.) We had a great time being around family and soaking up the sun rays! My first mothers day was so wonderful! I spent the whole day with my little sweetie and she was such a good girl!

Addison and Jordan got me some plastic ware for Mothers day...That's right, Gladware locking lids containers. I tried to buy them in Walmart the other day and Jordan just looked at them and asked if we really needed them when we have a whole drawer full of plastic containers. So I just put them back on the shelf. Although that's something I wanted to get, I would have been quite disappointed if that had been my only present (not that I need a present to know I'm appreciated or my some sort of payment for loving my baby. Addison is gift enough for me! she melts me with each smile and holds my heart in every giggle. I love her so much!) My real present was a Philips MP3 player. I told Jordan that I wanted an I Pod or MP3 player for my birthday in August and then promptly forgot that I had even mentioned it. I was quite pleased when I saw it and have thoroughly enjoyed it (since I figured out how to use it. I was very intimidated by new electronic devices that I've never used before, but it was very simple). Thank you my wonderful Husband and Daughter! You are the best! I love you!

Addison was so tired after the full day and had only slept for about 30 minutes all day so this is what we found int he car when we got home. She went on the nap for about 2 hours. So cute!

My Baby Girl is becoming a TODDLER!!

2010-05-13T16:04:00.004-04:00

I know! I can't believe how big and grown up my Baby Addison is getting! She is crawling around like crazy and cruising all over the place. She got a new toy (a hand-me down) on Sunday that she is in love with. It's an adorable little Radio Flyer wooden horse scooter. She's never been on a toy like that where she has to straddle the seat and walk (okay, never mind. I realized as I was typing that that is exactly what she does in her walker-it just has a tray and a seat that contains her instead of being open with handles.). I didn't think she would know what to do with it but as soon as we put her in it she took off across the room. When she got to the other side, she stopped and turned around with the biggest smile on her face which was all lit up with excitement. Now every time we walk by the toy she reaches for it and cries to ride it! What a cutie I have!!

Last night I was playing in the floor with Addison and she was crawling/walking (while always holding on to something-she just won't let go yet-and that's okay with me!) all over the place. She was trying to get to the horse toy (mentioned above) which was in the kitchen. In our house to get to the kitchen from the living room (where we were playing) you have to step up onto a platform (that is the first step to the upstairs. straight across you go into the kitchen. left turn you go upstairs) and back down into the kitchen. Addison scurried over and climbed up on the platform. I was right behind her and had to catch her before she went down onto the tile floor in the kitchen. While we were on the platform she happened to notice there were lots of steps that stretched upward. Well the girl just takes off climbing them. I didn't think she'd be able to climb them since she never has before but she went up three. then four. then five. I was hovering right behind her with my hands inches from her ready to catch if she stumbled. My big girl climbed all the way up the staircase 3 times last night! It was crazy!! Like she'd been climbing steps all her life! We'd get to the top, I'd bring her back downstairs and she'd head right back over to them. She obviously has a new obsession; one that we will have to put a stop to with the baby gate.

This and That

2010-05-05T14:52:00.005-04:00

Aghh... I have been so slack about blogging! I don't know why, but I just don't feel like writing anything. It's not like I don't have anything going on. It's not like I don't have a beautiful 11 month old crawling around doing all sorts of cute, funny things that I could tell about. It's not like I didn't just move into a new house that we've repainted and are currently decorating trying to make it our own. It's not like I'm not trying to plan a huge birthday party for 2 weeks from now. I have so many things I could write and share about but I have no motivation to do it. But then again, maybe it's because of all these things I haven't been able to make time to write... Oh well I'm doing it now, so here goes...

I was sick about a month ago. I was diagnosed with everything from strep throat to mastitis to a sinus infection to pink eye. All I know is that I felt like death with a fever and no voice and gunky, swollen eyes. I tried to blog-ument my illness and multiple doctor visits but just never finished the post. I had to miss 3 days of work with a weekend in between. I finally am better. The first antibiotic the the first doctor I saw prescribed made me vomit and extremely nauseous. I will never take Keflex/cephlexin again!!

The second doctor I saw told me that I had to stop breast feeding for the 10 days I was on the antibiotic/eye drops. I was so, so upset when I left the doctor's office. It's not that I want to breastfeed forever (quite the contrary, actually. I'm ready to be done nursing and pumping.) but I want to make to Addison's first birthday so that I don't have to use any formula. I want to ease it out instead of simply being cut off. He was just so definite and harsh about it, I felt that I had no options. And I was so scared that Addison wouldn't adapt well to changing her diet. When I got the meds filled, though, I asked the pharmacist about it and she said, without hesitance, that neither medication was unsafe to take while continuing to breastfeed. I was so relieved to hear that. I know most people don't understand why this was such a big deal for me, but I just wasn't ready yet.

Since then (It's been 3 weeks) I have started the weaning process. After being bitten a few times I decided that it was time to stop nursing. I'm still pumping, but Addison is getting bottles that are mixed with whole milk to ease into taking no breast milk. So far it's going well and I'm feeling better about the whole weaning process. After she gets used to the whole milk (we'll start upping the whole milk to breast milk ratio little by little) I'm going to start phasing out her bottle for a sippy cup. They make transitional sippy cups that have a soft top instead of a hard plastic top and I think those will be good for her. Addison will take either kind now, but only for her juice or water. She doesn't seem to like it when we try to put her milk in the sippy cup. It frustrates her for some reason.

Addison is such a sweet little thing! Yesterday when I got home with her, I was getting all her stuff ready to go upstairs and give her a bath (The only thing we use the upstairs for is to give her a bath and for her overflow closet usage...girl has a lot of clothes. :) ) and Tripp was acting really playful. I was carrying Addison and she kept leaning around me to see Tripp and she would just cackle at him. So then I started chasing him around the house and jumping out around corners at him (all while holding A) and she was loving it! She laughed so so hard and I was laughing right along with her (in between huffing for air, that is. Running around with a 20 lb baby on you hip for 10 minutes is hard work!! Totally, Totally worth it, but hard work!) I just have so much fun with her and she has so much personality.

Another Addison funny: Little Miss Thing has discovered Tripp's dog food bowl. It's right down the hallway from the kitchen leading into her bedroom and across from the laundry room. A few weeks ago I was working on some laundry and had A on the floor playing in the kitchen. She got really quiet, so I started to listen for her. After a moment I hard the dog food move around and realized she was playing in it. I ran over to her (she was just out of my sight around the doorway) and got the 5 pieces out of her clinched fists. Ever since she discovered it, her goal when in the area is to get to the dog food. Now she knows that I'm going to tell her "no, no!" so as she crawling toward it she will pause and look over her should and smile at me while I tell her "no" then giggle and go faster. It's really cute and I can't help but laugh at her. Sometimes I forget for just an instant what she's going to do and when I find her there, she's licking the food. So gross! She just looks up at me with the biggest smile on her little face!

Addison's birthday is on May 17th!! I cannot believe it's already here!! We're planning her party for the 22nd. It's going to be big with a lot of people but I'm trying to keep it low key, mainly in order to keep my sanity and to not go into debt for a birthday party. A party for someone who is too young to remember it! Yes it is a big deal, but I'm not losing my head over it! We celebrate her on a daily basis! :)

So I'll try to get some pictures up (been a little slack about taking pictures too, surprise, surprise...) and do better with my blogging regularity!

Addison is 11 months old!

2010-04-17T15:11:00.001-04:00

Addison, I can't believe you are now 11 months old! In just one short month, you will be turning one year old! Time really has flown by so quickly!

*At the doctor's office last week you weighed 20 lbs 9 ozs! Such a big girl!

* You have 4 teeth now: 2 on the top and 2 on the bottom! You just look so adorable and like such a big girl!

*You love to pull up and cruise around on all pieces of furniture or the walls or pretty much anything you can hold onto.

* You are quite the spunky girl! You are still very happy, but you also want to do things your way. If we take something away from you or if you just get mad at something (especially when you are tired) you throw a mini-hissy fit. You kick your legs and throw your arms around. You'll hit whatever is in your way and cry out all while your little face turns bright red! I can't imagine how the terrible two's are going to go for us, but you still are such a sweet little girl. It doesn't take much to cheer you up!
* You love to give kisses (When you are in the mood. Sometimes you just shake your head no, no). And by kisses I mean big, slobbery open-mouth kisses, sometimes with your tongue out. It's so cute!*You love to watch other children and interact with them. You are just completely mesmerized with them! You like to try to kiss them and wave at them. Even if it's only a picture of a child! It's so cute!

* You are wearing a size 3 diaper still and are comfortably in a 12-18 month size in clothes.
*You love to talk. I have to take you to the nursery at church most every Sunday, simply because you are too talkative. And when you talk you are loud!! I'm so glad I have to take you out because you're sharing your happy mood with everyone and not because you are mad and screaming! thanks for being such a good little baby!

We love you so much and you bring us so much joy!!

I'm still here!

2010-04-12T13:24:00.004-04:00

Wow, I have been so slack about writing any posts lately! I know, it's been a long time (My Grandaddy subtly told my cousin Zach to tell me I hadn't posted anything since March 17th! :) Hint taken, Grandaddy! Love you!) So here goes:

Things have been so hectic! We moved into our new house last week and everything is such a mess! I don't know where anything is and I feel completely and utterly unorganized! We've finally gotten everything moved over to the new house, but mostly it's in bins in the garage. We've also painted the kitchen (light green), Addison's room (formerly the office. There's no closet, so we are looking for a good deal on a white armoire, if you know of any for sale??) (light green a little more yellow than the kitchen, super cute!), the bookshelves in the living room (silvery blue, so much better than that awful orangey red that was there before), and the dinning room is almost finished. It's painted a mid-tone gray/blue color in a very flat finish and we are going to paint 5 inch vertical stripes in high gloss finish in the same color. I can't wait until it's done! We've gotten new rugs for the living rooms and dinning rooms and I love them. So things are coming along, but it's still a huge mess!

I think one of the coolest moments we've had with our new house so far was on Tuesday night. I had taken the day off to work on moving and Mom kept Addison for us. When she dropped her off for us that evening we were ready for supper. It was such a pretty day we decided to put Addison in her stroller and walk to dinner. That's right. We walked to dinner. I have never lived close enough to walk to any restaurant or public establishment of any sort. It's about a half mile from the square in down-town Mocksville. It was so cool to know how close we are to so many different things in town (Not that many things since, come on, it is only Mocksville :) ).

Addison has been such a good little girl throughout the whole moving experience. She is still such a happy baby and is pretty good at keeping herself kind of occupied in her walker. Sweetie sweet girl! She's been kind of sick the past few days, with a runny nose and slight, low-grade fever and one croupy eye. But she is still so sweet! She fell asleep on my chest for both her naps and bedtime yesterday, which she never does. She normally will not be still enough in my arms to settle herself down and go on the sleep no matter how sleepy she is. I ate it up! Loved every second of her sweet little head resting on my shoulder and the sweet smell of her hair and the sounds of her little breathes! I couldn't love her more!

I'll try to post more later! I'm just in a bloggy slump, but I'll try to find time to blog more. We'll see...